Thursday, May 24, 2018

Impact Wrestling Results - May 24, 2018

Impact Wrestling Results - May 24, 2018
We start with the obligatory look back at last week's show, which included DJ Z and Andrew Everett defeated Eli Drake and Scott Steiner for the World Tag Team Title, Madison Rayne's confrontation with Tessa Blanchard, the brawl between Moose and Kongo Kong, and the no DQ match between Eddie Edwards and Sami Callihan, including Eddie's postmatch confrontation with Tommy Dreamer.

We head to the ring after that for our opening match...

oVe vs Drago & Aerostar

I just noticed that Drago has a fake black dragon tongue.  That's cute.  Aerostar looks like a walking early 80s sci-fi movie.  The lucha guys hit dives out of the ring onto oVe during their entrances.  The Crists floor Drago back in the ring and put the boots to him, then toss him to the floor so Sami can get some shots in behind the ref's back.  That only lasts a moment before Drago makes the tag and they start doing flippy dippy double team stuff.  Jake comes in with a flurry of kicks to Drago as we see Eddie Edwards arriving at the arena in a split-screen.  He gets out of the car with a kendo stick in hand and marches into the building as his wife follows him and begs him to stop.  She isn't successful, as Eddie comes right into the ring, lays out the Crists with the stick, then gets Sami on the mat and chokes him out with the stick, only stopping to chase off the referees before going right back to it.  Sami's face is turning purple and his eyes roll back in his head as he passes out, but Eddie still won't release him until finally about ten referees and security guys run in to pull him off.  Even still, he's literally screaming at Sami as his wife climbs up on the apron to tell him it's over and to stop.  Eddie calms down...for long enough to get everyone to let him go, at which point he takes the stick and lays out every last one of them, smiling a sick smile at the crowd as his wife looks distraught and yells at him some more.

We're back from commercial, and Eddie's wife is asking him why he's doing this, and chews him out for acting like Sami.  Eddie says beating Sami last week was fine, but that's not enough, and he's doing it for her and for them, because Sami nearly took his eye, and it won't be over until he gets him no ropes, no referee, out in the middle of the woods somewhere.  Yipes, just yipes.

We go to the control room where Josh and Don talk about stuff, then it's back to the ring...

Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley vs LAX

Trevor and Caleb cheapshot LAX at the beginning, and all four men immediately spill out to the floor for a big brawl.  LAX gets the upper hand, but then Caleb whips Ortiz into the steps as Santana misses a charge and hits the post.  Lee and Konley get Ortiz in the ring and he's in deep trouble as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Ortiz is still in trouble, getting tossed to the floor as Lee hits a charging boot that knocks Santana off the apron.  Trevor distracts the referee whilke Konley works Ortiz over in the corner, but Ortiz gets free and makes a hot tag.  Santana cleans house on both opponents with a series of high impact moves, then LAX hits the All Seeing Eye on Konley for 2.  Trevor Lee comes in to try and even the odds, but winds up getting knocked out to the floor.  LAX tries another double team, but Trevor pulls Ortiz out to the floor as Konley rolls Santana up with a handful of tights for the win.

Winners: Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley

Match was okay, really just to tell more of the story of LAX hitting tough times.  They look frustrated as all get out.

We take a look at what happened last week between Moose and Kongo Kong, and they'll go head-to-head in tonight's main event!  We go backstage to McKenzie with Jimmy Jacobs and Kong, and Jacobs says that people think he's a bad guy, but he's not.  Grado accused them of some bad things and they had to teach him a lesson, but Moose stopped that, and he's a bad guy.  Tonight, he wants to see Kong break Moose into a million pieces, because he's a princess, and he always gets what he wants.

El Hijo Del Phantasma and Matt Sydal are backstage, and they're...WARMING UP!  They'll face off for the X Division Title tonight!!

KM is backstage getting Fallah Bahh pumped up and saying the possibilities are endless if he does things the KM way.  They find Grado and Winter backstage, and they say that if a fatass like Grado can get a woman like that, imagine what Bahh can do?  KM asks how she wound up with a guy like him anyway, and she says she's a bit of a chubby chaser, and loves his beautiful big bones.  Grado wishes Bahh good luck tonight, and walks off.

The Global Wrestling Network takes us back to Bully Ray cutting a promo on Jeff Hardy prior to their match at Lockdown where Bubba turned heel and revealed ihmself as the President of Aces & Eights.

We look back at last week's confrontation between Tessa Blanchard and Madison Rayne, then we go to McKenzie with Madison, who says that Impact is home for her, and it was great to meet some of the new Knockouts, but she came back here to be an announcer, not a wrestler.  The Knockouts division was built on respect, not bullying, so she needed to do something.  Tessa comes in and asks her how dare she show up in her workplace and do what she did when her workplace is being a stay at home mother.  Madison should stay at home, and since Madison wants to hit her from behind, they should go face-to-face in the ring.

We see...ANOTHER VIDEO PACKAGE!  This one is of last week's tag title switch, then McKenzie is backstage with the new champions, who say that the former champs are twice their size, and nobody thought they had a chance, but they proved they can not only hang with the big guys, but beat them too.  Everett says they're underdogs, but every dog has his day.  Drake and Steiner come in and say they only won because they slipped on a banana peel.  Drake tells him to calm down and now worry about this, but Steiner says that if he were in the right place, they'd never have lost the title.  They end up arguing and threatening each other before both men walk out.

X Division Title Match: Matt Sydal vs El Hijo Del Phantasma

Phantasma goes for a handshake, and Sydal namastes at him before shaking.  They start off with a feeling out process, then Phantasma hits a leaping enziguiri and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Sydal kicks out Phantasma's knees and hits a shotgun knees in the corner for 2.  Sydal continues working the legs over until Phantasma pops Sydal up and...does nothing when he comes down, instead just standing there while Sydal grabs him and hits a stepover legdrop for 2.  Phantasma angrily yells something at the ref, then Sydal hits a standing spinkick, but takes too long hitting the standing moonsault and lands on Phantasma's knees.  Phantasma dumps Sydal to the floor and hits a baseball slide as we go to commercial.

We're back as Phantasma drops Sydal face first onto the ring steps before posing for a selfie with the fans.  Phantasma rams Sydal into the ringpost, rolls him into the ring, and comes off the top...missing a double stomp.  Sydal with a pendulum swing, then he heads back to the top and...misses the Sydal Press.  Phantasma hoists Sydal up for a Tombstone, Sydal slips out the back, Phantasma picks the legs and get a modified Indian deathlock right in the middle of the ring.  Sydal finally makes the ropes, tries charging at Phantasma, but eats a leaping knee to the face.  Sydal slides under Phantasma and hits Chemical Imbalance II for the win.

Winner: Matt Sydal

Good match, Sydal is really on a hot streak this year.

We're off to the LAX clubhouse, where Santana and Ortiz are flipping out...then Eddie Kingston comes in to tell them to calm down.  He says K-Dog called him and told him he got jumped, and he's good and in a safe spot right now, and he knows this because of the chain of command and he runs New York.  Shipments are good, security is back up and running, but they've been on a losing streak.  They have to remember that the name LAX rings bells out in the street, and the streets are watching them.  He needs them to step up and have the hunger they had in the concrete jungle.  It's time to get it: blood in, blood out.  Well, nice to hear that the babyfaces' criminal syndicate is still operating nice and smoothly.

Desmond Xavier vs Petey Williams

The winner of this match gets to face Brian Cage, and the loser gets to face him twice.  Okay, I made up that last part.  They shake, then do a feeling out process.  Petey goes for the Canadian Destroyer, but Xavier ducks out to the floor.  Back in the ring, they do a fast paced flippy sequence that ends with Xavier hitting a sweet dropkick for 2.  Petey turns it around by knocking Xavier to the floor and hitting the slingshot headscissors to the floor as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Petey is still in firm control.  Xavier turns it around and does the usual indy spotspotspotspotspot stuff, then comes off the top with a 450...that misses.  Petey hits an implant flatliner, hits a Canadian legsweep and gets a crucifix for 2.  Petey goes for the Canadian Destroyer, Xavier blocks and hits a cutter for 2.  Petey rolls to the apron and hits a slingshot codebreaker, Xavier blocks the Destroyer and hits a double kneestrike with a cradle for 2.  Xavier goes for a Frankensteiner, Petey blocks, Xavier blocks the Destroyer again, and Petey nicely wanders forward so Xavier doesn't miss his double backflip kicky thing for the win.

Winner: Desmond Xavier

It was what you'd expect.  They shake hands and Petey raises Xavier's hand in victory.

We see a video package hyping the Allie-Su Yung feud, and we see that Allie has painted her face like Rosemary and is wearing her hood.  She says she's sorry and knows this isn't what she wanted, but it's the way it has to be.

And with that...IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!

Moose vs Kongo Kong

Kong gets the early advantage, unloading on Moose with some hard hittting shots.  Moose kips up and drills Kong with a dropkick that barely moves Kong, then a clothesline that definitely moves Kong over the top and to the floor.  Moose hits a slingshot crossbody, and it looks like Kong tries to catch him but can't quite manage it, so they improvise by having Moose charge Kong, who sidesteps and sends Moose into the ring steps.  Kong hits a rolling cannonball into Moose against the steps in a big ouch spot.  Back into the ring where Kong unloads more hard hitting offense and a big belly-to-belly suplex for 2.  Kong with a running steamroller for another 2.  Moose battles back and unloads with hard chops and forearms, picks Kong up for a slam, and collapses under the weight, with Kong getting 2.  Moose tries to headbutt Kong, rocks himself in the process, but staggers Kong enough that he can follow up with a charging dropkick in the corner, and then another.  Moose goes for the Gamechanger, Kong ducks and hoists Moose into a fireman's carry, hitting a neckbreaker over the knee for 2.  Kong goes to the top rope for the splash, but Moose rolls out of the way.  Moose with a pair of bicycle kicks, and this time Moose hits the slam.  That took a lot out of Moose, but he hits the spear and covers Kong for the win.

Winner: Moose

Wow, big win for Moose!  That is also Kong's first singles loss in Impact (he was pinned in a tag match during the India tour).  Suddenly a red X pops up on screen with creepy music and everything, and then we see Jimmy Jacobs (who was not at ringside with Kong) laid out backstage with a red X on him.  Who is doing this????

Well, we won't find out this week, because that's the end of the show!


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