Thursday, August 3, 2017

GFW Impact Wrestling Results - Aug 3, 2017

We start off in the LAX clubhouse, where Konnan says their newest member is arriving tonight, and a new era of violence is starting tonight when LAX faces Alberto El Patron, his brother, and his old man in tonight's main event.

We see a video package of Desmond Xavier and Drago, who will face off in the semifinals of the Super X-Cup, then we hit the opening video and go to the Impact Zone for our opening match...

Super X-Cup Semifinals: Desmond Xavier vs Drago

Desmond tries some flippy dippy stuff, but eats a dropkick from Drago and rolls out to the floor. Back inside where Drago catches Xavier with a flying headscissors, Xavier responds with one of his own for 2. Xavier backdrops Drago to the floor, but he's right back in and dumps Xavier to the floor now. Drago hits a dive to the floor (his first flippy move, by the way) as we go to commercial.

We're back from commercial as Xavier and Drago knock each other out with stereo head kicks. Drago is up first and putting the boots to Xavier, but Xavier fires up and hits a couple of charging forearms in the corner and sends Grado to the outside with...yes, a flying headscissors! Xavier completes the mandatory flippy dippy sequence with a dive, then back inside where Xavier covers for 2. Drago fires back and hits a hanging DDT off the top rope for 2, then pops Xavier high in the air for a flapjack and hits a big sitout powerbomb for 2. Drago drills Xavier with another head kick for another close 2. Drago hits a running, flipping DDT, but Xavier is AGAIN out at 2. Xavier finally hits a 619 out of nowhere and comes off the top rope with the Final Flash, and that's enough to put Drago away for 2.

Winner: Desmond Xavier

Match was okay when Drago was in control since he slowed things down, but Xavier just went out there and did flippy dippy and nothing else. It's gonna be a long night if ACH makes it to the finals too. Jeremy Borash interviews Xavier, who says that whoever he faces in the finals better be ready.

McKenzie Mitchell is backstage with Ethan Carter III, who says he's a hot commodity, and Moose is a tough opponent, but he's also up against corrupt judges here. He'll finish it before they go to the judges, but he's in Moose's head, and the greatest feeling in the world will be going out there to do what he says he will by taking the Grand Championship because he's a Carter, and this company needs him.

We see a video package hyping the upcoming Matt Sydal-Bobby Lashley match at Destination X, where the winner gets the title shot they desire.

McKenzie Mitchell is backstage with Alberto El Patron and his family, and he says he knows what Konnan is all about, but he says he doesn't trust his brother because he knows that he's been best friends with Konnan and he's seen them talking. Alberto's brother says this is just Konnan getting in Alberto's head, but Alberto starts yelling at him in Spanish until Karen JArrett storms in telling them to stop because family comes first. They keep arguing, but Bruce Prichard comes in to tell everyone to calm down and relax, and Alberto tells him to talk to "that snake" (referring to Alberto's brother) and walks off. Bruce tells Karen he needs to talk to her alone, NOW, and they leave.

Trevor Lee vs Mumbai Cat

Gee, I wonder if this is Sonjay under the mask. Trevor starts putting the boots to the Cat right away and then Beells him across the ring and to the floor. Lee goes to the apron and hits a running punt across the ring apron, but Mumbai Cat #2 runs down and shoves #1 under the ring. They're doing the Double Doink gimmick! Lee tosses #2 into the ring, and #2 takes Lee down and starts hammering him with right hands, then hits a superkick, a tornado DDT, and comes off the top with the Sonjay Dutt splash for the win.

Winner: Mumbai Cat

#2 takes his mask off and, sure enough, it's Sonjay Dutt. Okay, I was close enough. Sonjay says there's a discrepancy in Trevor Lee's head over who the X Division Champion is, but as a wise man once said, to be the champ, you gotta beat the champ. Bruce Prichard comes out to tell him to get outta here, but Sonjay challenges Trevor Lee to an X Division title ladder match at Destination X. Bruce has a gaggle of referees come out to escort sonjay out of the building with his hands in the air as if he's getting arrested. Okay then.

We go to America Top Team where everyone except King Mo says that Bobby Lashley needs to pick MMA or wrestling, and can't truly be the best if he keeps trying to do both.

Joseph Park and Grado are backstage, and Park tells another of his crazy stories about his family, then tells Grado to go have his match and make his money and he'll go get Laurel because he thinks she really likes him.

Eli Drake comes out to face Eddie Edwards, but Eddie doesn't make it to the ring. We go backstage and find out that this is because Kongo Kong kicked the crap out of him while Laurel stood there yelling.

We come back from commercial and Laurel is still skipping around backstage and screaming while Kongo Kong is beating up Richard Justice (the fat guy who has been backstage doing squats for weeks).

Grand Championship Match: Moose vs Ethan Carter III

Moosetackles EC3 into the corner right off the bell and rams several shoulders into his ribs. Moose lays in several chops and then Beells EC3 across the ring. They go to the floor where EC3 sidesteps a spear, sendinhg Moose into the steps, and EC3 rams him into the steps two more times for good measure. EC3 remains in control as they go back into the ring and the first round ends.

EC3 takes the first round on a split decision, then sidesteps a bicycle kick from Moose as the second round starts, and knocks Moose to the floor with a high knee. EC3 rams Moose's face into the apron a couple of times, then they go into the ring where EC3 lays out some chops of his own. EC3 hits an exploder suplex for 2, the Stinger Splash, and then just slaps him around for the hell of it. Moose suddenly drills EC3 with a headbutt and connects with several corner charges and a hesitation dropkick in the corner. EC3 goes to the second rope, but Moost drills him with a dropkick to end the second round. Despite controlling like 90% of the round, Moose wins a crooked split decision to take the second round as we go to commercial.

We're back with the final round, which Moose starts strong by running over EC3 with a clothesline and a charging boot to EC3 against the ring steps. Moose dumps EC3 into the ring and goes to the top, but EC3 carries him out and hits a TK3 for 2. Moose hits a bicycle kick and a pop-up powerbomb, followed by a senton for 2. EC3 goes to the second rope, but Moose hits a second rope sky high for 2. We have a minute left as Moose goes for and misses the Gamechanger. Moose blocks the 1%, Moose goes for a chokeslam, but EC3 reverses to the 1% for 2. EC3 hits a kneelift, a second kneelift, and Moose fires up and asks if that's all he's got. EC3 responds with a hard lariat and goes for the ECd, but Moose blocks and hits a sitout chokeslam as the clock runs out. We go to the judges and by split decision...

Winner and NEW Grand Champion: Ethan Carter III

Dutch and D'Amore scored the last round at 10-10 ties, and Bruce scored that one 10-8. Weird finish aside, this was a great match, and good to see gold back around EC3's waist.

That new tag team whose promos I can't understand will be making their debut at Destination X.

KM, Mario Bokara & Fallah Bahh vs Suicide, Braxton Sutter & Grado

All heck breaks loose almost immediately, with all the heels getting dumped to the floor, with Fallah doing the comedy spot landing on top of Bokara. Now the faces do dives, but then Grado winds up in trouble when they go back inside. Fallah Bahh did the same steamroller move my dad used to do to me when I was 4, then Bokara dumps him to the floor. Suicide just decides to come in with no tag...okay, they're all taking turns doing spots until Grado rolls KM up for the win.

Winners: Suicide, Braxton Sutter & Grado

Grado asks Laurel Van Ness to come out to the ring because he really, REALLY needs that answer from her NOW. She comes out on the arm of Joseph Park, and Grado gets to one knee to pop the question, but Kongo Kong comes out again to interrupt. This time Grado grows a set and goes after Kong, but Kong powers him up and hits a side Michinoku Driver. Allie wants Braxton Sutter to help, but he says "F that!" and walks. Kong goes to the top rope to splash Grado, but Laurel tells him no, giving Grado an opening to roll to the floor. Laurel drags Kong to the back, turning to wave at Grado as they go.

McKenzie Mitchell is backstage with Konnan, who tells "Random White Girl #5" to shut up because the new era of violence, brutality, and sadism begins tonight. Konnan said Alberto made two mistakes: lying to him, and trusting his family. Konnan says 5150, and Diamonte shoves McKenzie on her way off the interview set. The main event is up next!

EC3 comes out with the Grand Championship around his waist and stands on the broadcast table to say that tonight is a night for celebration. He tells the Grand Championship he loves it, and then kisses the belt before deciding to head out of here...through the crowd.

And with that...IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!

LAX vs Alberto El Patron, Dos Caras & El Hijo Del Dos Caras

Geez, El Hijo Del Dos Caras looks like he's been on the Grado diet. Those boys are definitely NOT on the same diet plan. Dos Caras actually starts the match, lighting into Homicide with chops and catching him with a crazy leg cradle for...0 since the referee didn't seem to realize that was a pin attempt. Dos Caras works Homicide over in the corner and tags in Los Hijos Del Dos Caras. He unloads on Homicide, dumps him to the floor, and hits a Richter Scale dive to the floor as we go to the commercial.

We're back, and like clockwork, the babyface loses control as soon as the final segment starts, with Alberto getting dumped to the floor and worked over by Santana. He's in peril for a moment before making a hot tag to Treinta Caras, who comes in and goes to town on Ortiz. Hijo heads to the top rope and gets crotched, showing the quality of those ring ropes from the planet Krypton, and Ortiz superplexes him for 2. Didn't know he had it in him. Hijo hits a leaping enziguiri, but can't quite haul himself across the ring to make the tag befire winding up back in peril. Homicide tags in and eats a Codebreaker from Hijo, who finally tags in Alberto. Alberto catches Ortiz with a snap powerslam, quick windmill backbreaker for Santana, another, and a lungblower on Santana gets 2. Alberto goes to the top rope, Santana tries to stop him, Alberto knocks him into the Tree of Woe, and Alberto comes off the top with a double stomp, then hits Homicide with a leaping enziguiri. Ortiz charges and Alberto sidesteps, sending Ortiz into the referee and knocking him out. Hijo comes in with a chair and makes like he's going to hit Alberto, then takes Homicide out instead. Alberto gets the cross armbreaker on Ortiz, but out of nowhere, Low Ki runs in and hits the Warrior's Way on Alberto. He's got an LAX logo on his jacket now, and balis out to the floor as Santana covers Alberto for the win.

Winners: LAX

Didn't expect to see Alberto taking the pinfall loss there, but okay. Alberto's bleeding from his mouth as all 5000 members of LAX stand tall as the show comes to a close.



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