Thursday, July 13, 2017

GFW Impact Results - Jul 13, 2017

Joseph Park and Grado arrive at the arena in a beat to hell VW Bug, which Joseph Park said belonged to his grandfather, and after only a few more payments, it's all his! He knows Grado is gonna get kicked out of the country by the President, so he has to get him married so he can stay, and there's no better place for a courtship and wedding than Impact Wrestling! Grado's not sure, but Park says all the boys are doing it, so they head in to get down to business.

We see a video package of last week when LAX attacked Bobby Lashley during his World Title rematch, and announced him as the newest member of LAX even though he was too unconscious to say it for himself. Then we go to the arena where LAX comes out to the ring and Konnan introduces the newest member of LAX: Alberto El Patron! Alberto (the real Mexican) comes out and asks "Carlos" (the fake Mexican) what he's doing. They've been friends for years and they went through it all together, but he wants to know what that bullcrap last week was about telling everyone that he's joining LAX? He tells Carlos that he's a leader, not a follower, but Carlos tells him about all the things that happened to Mil Mascaras, Dos Caras, Eddy Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and everyone else, all the problems he had with the former owner here, and not to forget what they did to him up in Stamford. Alberto says he'll never forget, but he's in a better place, and of course he understands what Carlos is trying to do, just not the way he's going about it. He thinks Carlos became a bitter man, and Alberto was a loner in Mexico and in Japan, and he'll remain that way here in Impact Wrestling. Konnan tells him he's not alone anymore because LAX is his family, and they can start a hispanic revolution that these crackers don't want, and all he has to say is "si si si." Alberto tells him the answer is "no, son of a bitch" and Konnan responds to that by sending LAX after him. They work him over 3-on-1...well, 4-on-1 once Diamonte joins in, and then Bobby Lashley hits the ring to clear LAX out. Lashley picks up the title belt and hands it to Alberto, then takes a walk.

We see some of the festivities around Orlando during Slammiversary weekend, then a video package of ACH deciding to become a wrestler after seeing Shelton Benjamin on TV, and how he hopes to be the first wrestler to wrestle on the moon. Andrew Everett says he's hoping the Super X Cup will be the exclamation on his career so far, as well as his ticket to the X Division Title he's fallen short of winning over and over.

Super X Cup First Round: Andrew Everett vs ACH

Back and forth to start until Everett snaps a flying headscissors off and connects with some chops in the corner. ACH cartwheels out of an Irish whip and dropkicks Everett for 2. Everett quickly turns it around with a dropkick that sends ACH to the floor, and then he hits an Asai moonsault to the floor. ACH baseball slides Everett's legs out from under him and then quickly hits a double stomp to the back. Everett goes to the floor, ACH wipes him out with a dive. ACH with a snap German suplex and then a flippy clothesline, but Everett hits a Pelle kick and a Falcon arrow suplex for 2. Everett connects with a superkick, but ACH reverses a suplex attempt to a brainbuster for the win.

Winner: ACH

Eh, this was back to the usual flippy-dippy. I preferred last week's match.

Gail Kim is backstage, and she's...WALKING! She has a special announcement right after this commercial break!

Jeremy Borash is in the ring to introduce a once-in-a-generation pioneer who defines an entire division, the first female inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame: Gail Kim! She thanks everyone for their support, but she suffered an injury last year and Impact has given her a platform to say that she's worked with great people, traveled the world, and performed for people all over the world, given her soul, mind, and obdy to the business, and she doesn't regret it for a moment. The fans chant "thank you Gail" as she announces officially that, at the end of 2017, she will be retiring from the ring (fans chant "no no no"), so she thanks the girls in the back for everything over the year and her family here in Impact Wrestling, allowing her to be herself, and she's thankful for everything she's accomplished, but she intends to go out on top in her home, Impact Wrestling.

Chris Adonis walks to the ring and hassles the Swollmates guys, both of whom climb into the ring to get in Adonis' face. Things are getting tense, so Adonis challenges a posedown. And they pose. And that's about it.

A Mexican midget is backstage, and he's...WALKING! He'll be in action after this commercial break!

Deimos vs Octagoncito

Deimos (the big one) muscles Octagoncito around, but Octagoncito uses his speed to flippy dip Deimos around. Octagoncito flippy dips Deimos to the floor and does a corkscrew springboard dive to the outside. They head back in and Deimos hits a pop-up powerslam for 2. Then he hits a pop-up inverted powerslam for 2. Then he hits a pop-up spinebuster for 2. Octagoncito no-sells it all, knocks Deimos to the floor, and hits a springboard moonsault. Back in the ring where Octagoncito hits a West Coast Pop for 2, then a twisting something rollup for the win.

Winner: Octagoncito

Not my cup of tea, but at least they...KEPT IT SHORT! Yes, I'm here all week, folks!

Grado goes around backstage hitting on all the Knockouts and gets nowhere, but Park tells him there's one more chance, and he got him some champagne and chocolate to woo her with.

Matt Sydal talks about being on Victory Road 2004, the first monthly TNA PPV, and how he didn't get back here until now, but he thinks everything happens for a reason and now is the right time for him here.

Ethan Carter III comes down to ringside (giving Tyrus and Bruce Prichard a tense nod as he passes them) and joins the announce team for our next match...

Grand Championship Match: Moose vs Naomichi Marufuji

Marufuji runs into a wall on a shoulderblock, but then uses his speed to outmaneuver Moose and hits the rebound no effect. Marufuji tries a Frankensteiner, but Moose catches him, pops him out onto his feet, and boots Marufuji in the face. Moose covers for 2, Marufuji registers with a couple of chops, but Moose hits a pop-up powerbomb and senton for 2. Moose with chops as the round ends.

Moose wins the first round on a unanimous, and Marufuji picks up the pace as the second round starts, running circles around Moose and drilling him with a series of fast kicks. He makes a cover, but Moose powers out at 2 and nearly tosses Marufuji out of the ring on the kickout. Marufuji with a diving elbow in the corner, tries a suplex, Moose blocks and bicycle kicks Marufuji into next week. Moose charges the corner but runs right into Marufuji's boot, and Marufuji peppers him with more kicks, but goes to the second rope and gets dropkicked to the floor with about 20 seconds left. Marufuji rolls in just as the clock runs out. Marufuji wins a split decision to take the second round as we go to commercial.

We're back, Moose goes for the bicycle kick, Marufujio dodges and rties an Irish whip, but Moose blocks and hits the bicycle kick, then the corner charging clothesline and a hang time dropkick in the corner for a VERY close 2. Moose goes for the ripcord forearm, Marufuji ducks it and knocks Moose silly with kicks and kneestrikes, and he goes for Sliced Bread #2 as EC3 comes in the ring and knocks Marufuji out with the ring bell.

Winner by DQ: Naomichi Marufuji

EC3 goes after Moose with the bell too, but Moose ducks the shot and bicycle kicks EC3 out of the ring.

We head to the LAX clubhouse, where Konnan says Alberto decided to go corporate on them, and they're going to have Alberto taken out on a stretcher, then they can beat him up again in the ambulance. This is street justice, and they're gonna take Lashley out for good measure as well.

Trevor Lee comes out with a microphone and introduces himself as the X Division Champion, and he'll be the best champion Impact could ask for, so he searched the world and found William Weeks, who has apparently been all over the world and won lots of titles.

Trevor Lee vs William Weeks

Lee takes Weeks down and hammers him with forearms, and is wearing the belt while he wrestles. We see Sonjay Dutt backstage being restrained by security as Lee Beells Weeks across the ring, then punts him from the apron. Lee sends Weeks to the ropes and hits the leaping double stomp for the win.

Winner: Trevor Lee

And no, this was not a title match. Sonjay Dutt comes in from the crowdf and attacks Lee, who gets away with the title belt as Sonjay...stands there and watches him go.

Eva Storie vs Laurel Van Ness

Storie takes Laurel down and gets a series of rollups for 2, then Laurel gets away and...fals down. Storie covers for 2, then fires off some forearms and goes for a kick, but Laurel yanks her legs out from under her and covers for 2. Laurel's mannerisms during her matches are just too much. She totally gets it. Eva gets it also, but in her case, "it" is turnbuckles to her face over and over as LAurel repeatedly curb stomps her into them. Laurel misses another curb stomp and Storie catches her boot, hits a neckbreaker, then leg sweeps Laurel. Laurel rolls out to the floor and tries to escape up the ramp, but Storie goes after her and rolls her back into the ring. Laurel catches her with a kneelift coming in and hits a hanging DDT, but doesn't go for the pin. Instead she runs around the ring and hits a curb stomp for the win.

Winner: Laurel Van Ness

Laurel gets her hand raised, and then...HERE COMES GRADO!! Joseph Park urges him into the ring and hands him the chocolates and champagne, and the fans cheer him on as he introduces himself by his real name (Graeme), and says she's the most beautiful creature he's ever laid eyes on. She gushes as he hurls one compliment after another at her, and then asks her out on a date, and says it'd really be helpful if she gave him an answer tonight. Laurel looks like she's gonna say yes...but then HERE COMES KONGO KONG! Joseph Park and Grado head for the hills, and Josh suggests he try Tinder, and Pope isn't impressed by that answer.

And with that, it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!

World Tag Team Champions LAX vs Bobby Lashley & Alberto Del Rio

Ortiz and Lashley start us off, and Lashley keeps up with the quickness and takes his head off with a clothesline. Ortiz goes to the floor, but Alberto sends him back in where Lashley hits a side suplex for 2. Alberto tags in and whips Ortiz hard into the corner, then hits a snapmare and basement dropkick for 2. He takes a shot at Santana, then snap suplexes Ortiz over for 2. Santana cheapshots Alberto from the apron, then a series of double teams put Alberto down for a 2 count as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Alberto is still getting beat up by LAX, but then he hits Santana with an inverted superplex and makes the hot tag to Lashley, who destroys Ortiz and then hits a running powerslam on Santana for 2. He dumps Ortiz to the floor and goes for the spear, but Diamonte grabs his ankle, then Homicide snaps Lashley's neck down on the top rope so Santana can dropkick his legs out. LAX with a double back suplex on Lashley, who rolls out to the floor where he takes another beating from Homicide. Back into the ring where Lashley now is in the wrong part of town, but that only lasts until Lashley busts through a double clothesline attempt and hits a double crossbody on both members of LAX. Lashley makes the hot tag, and here comes Alberto to clean house. Step up enzigiuri on Santana, one for Ortiz, lungblower for Santana for 2. Alberto hangs Santana in the Tree of Woe as Lashley hits a spinebuster on Ortiz, then they double clothesline Ortiz to the floor and hit a neckbreaker/double stomp on Santana for the win.

Winners: Alberto El Patron & Bobby Lashley

Well, they're looking kinda buddy-buddy here, aren't they? Respect handshake and a hug after the match, and Lashley puts on the LAX headband as he heads up the ramp, and Alberto gets a mic and says they've been enemies, but they make a damn awesome team. LAX is in such agreement that all of them jump in the ring and start beating the crap out of Alberto. Lashley just smiles and shrugs, then walks off to leave Alberto to his fate. Konnan says if he wants to turn his back on LAX for these fans, this is what he gets. Santana and Ortiz hold Alberto while they put the LAX flag over Alberto's face as we call it a week.



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