We start off with our usual video package looking back at last week’s show, then we head to the ring for our opening match…
Trevor Lee vs “The Draw” Sami Callihan
That’s some nickname Sami’s got there. Scarlett Bordeaux is here to observe the festivities from her…I dunno, her sexy chair I guess that she lounges in seductively at the top of the ramp. Sami gets the jump on Lee, and puts a hurting on him while the announcers repeatedly drive home how many matches Trevor Lee’s losing and how his championship days seem like eons ago. Sami with a death valley driver for 2, then goes to a chinlock. Lee looks into the camera and says it’s time to send a message, but gets distracted by Dave Crist getting distracted by Scarlett, and Lee gets a couple of sneak near-falls. Scarlett sashays off the stage as Trevor begins to mount a comeback. Jake Crist shoves Lee off the top rope, and Sami hits the short piledriver for the win.
Winner: Sami Callihan
Brian Cage comes out as soon as the match is over, mows through both Crist brothers, then goes face-to-face with a bat-wielding Sami. Sami swings the bat, Cage catches it under his arm, yanks it away, and menaces Sami with it. He thinks it over and hands the bat back to Sami and tells him to take his best shot. Sami does, but Cage ducks and hits Sami with an F5. He goes for the Drill Claw, but the Crists pull Sami to the floor and they make their escape.
Eddie Kingston is in the OGz clubhouse and is furious that the old men aren’t allowing him to touch Konnan or LAX, but suddenly he has an idea. Homicide reminds King what the bosses said, but he has a plan for how they can touch LAX and get away with it. That just sounds creepy.
Gama Singh is backstage warming up for his match with Rohit Raju tonight…with Raju massaging his back. Raju asks how this is going to help, but Gama says he poses the ultimate test for Raju.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, and Eli Drake comes out to interrupt. Eli says lawsuits aren’t personal…unless Don wants to make them personal. Don takes the cue to take a walk, and Josh briefly touches on the suit Drake has filed against Impact before we go back to the ring…
Heavenly Bodies vs LAX
Josh and Drake mostly ignore the match while talking about Drake filing his lawsuit against Impact Wrestling, alleging an unsafe working environment stemming from his open challenges. We don’t miss much other than LAX squashing a team that’s a knockoff of another team from 25 years ago that itself was a knockoff. Drake drops a funny line about how he figured since everyone else was suing Impact, he’d just get in on the fun. Street Sweeper finishes it for the champs.
Winners: LAX
Tessa Blanchard finds Taya Valkyrie backstage and takes her to task for her comments from last week, so Taya calls her a chica loca. Tessa talks about the excuses Taya has made for losing, and says she doesn’t need shortcuts to beat her, and will prove it by defending against her again next week.
Matt Sydal and Ethan Page bump into LAX after the match, and Sydal says they are destined for greatness and want a shot at the title and will open their third eye like he did for Page. Konnan says it’s gangsta the way they stepped to LAX, but he must have been doing too much peyote “like you white boys do” and LAX teases a brawl before just walking off.
McKenzie is backstage with Killer Kross and Moose, who talks about how they put KM on the shelf and then left Fallah Bahh laying. Kross says KM and Bahh remind him of dogs chasing a car, because they wouldn’t know what to do if they caught it. He’s a train of annihilation, and they’re passengers headed for doomsday.
Video package hyping Fenix ahead of his World Title shot tonight.
Rich Swann and Willie Mack are backstage getting drunk to celebrate Bound For Glory and the Brian Cage match from last week, then Mack challenges Swann to be his first singles opponent in Impact next week. Swann thinks that sounds great, and they go to get more drinks.
Gama Singh vs Rohit Raju
We see 800 year old footage of Gama Singh during his in-ring career, then Gama introduces himself by running down everything he accomplished, including wins over everyone in and connected to the Hart family, then very simply introduces his opponent as “Rohit Raju”. Gama chain wrestles around Raju as the fans give him a “you still got it” chant. Gama gets a side headlock and tells the ref that he’s pulling his hair, then nails Raju in the throat when the ref goes to check. Raju is mad that he took a cheap shot, so Gama kicks him in the midsection and tries a couple of chops, but Raju catches his hand and is ready to clean his clock when…some Indian guy I don’t recognize runs in and attacks Raju.
Winner by DQ: Rohit Raju
Gama climbs on top of Raju and the nwe guy make a three count, then when Raju recovers and demands to know what’s going on, Gama’s guy helps him up and Gama hugs him and the three of them lead together, with Raju looking completely confused by what just happened.
McKenzie is backstage with Johnny Impact, who puts Fenix over for doing things he didn’t think were humanly possible. Fenix is almost as good as he is, and was in his wedding party, he’s family. Tonight, they fight for the biggest prize in the game, and he knows how hard his journey has been and how much it means to him, but he’s going to fight with everything he’s got to keep it, and may the best man win.
Scarlett Bordeaux is in her bubble bath and is reviewing all the videos people sent in to her audition. We see a few of the most disturbing, then we thankfully turn out attention to the ring for our next match…
KM & Fallah Bahh vs Moose & Killer Kross
So what is the purpose of Moose and Kross remaining together without Aries? KM and Moose, the owner of the greatest mini-mustache ever, go face to face and immediately start trading shots. KM takes Moose down with a shoulderblock, then drills him with a dropkick and hammers the fallen Moose with right hands. Kross tags in, but KM takes him right down and hammers him with shots as well. Kross turns it around and takes KM down, and they are now just straight up street fighting. KM plows Kross into the corner and tags in Bahh for a corner avalanche, followed by a running splash, then IT’S STEAMROLLER TIME!!!! Moose gets taken out with a double shoulderblock when he tries to run in, and then it’s time for THE PEOPLE’S FOOT IN THE MOUTH!!! KM takes out Moose, Kross, and the guardrail with a crazy somersault dive, then Bahh takes both opponents out with a dive off the apron. Kross isn’t fazed by a series of clotheslines, and he rips Bahh’s head off with one of his own. Moose tags in and just delivers a street beating to poor Fallah Bahh as we see a guy sitting ringside with a giant plush panda head on. Bahh starts firing back, then takes Moose out with a crossbody. KM spits at Kross, who just smiles back at him, starts to drag Bahh toward KM to tease a tag, then gets Bahh in a cross armbreaker. Bahh makes the ropes, so Moose tags in and drills Bahh with a bicycle kick to the face. Bahh starts to BAHH up and flattens Moose with a belly to belly suplex, but Kross cuts off the hot tag at the very last moment. Bahh plants Kross with a Samoan drop, and Eddie Edwards suddenly comes out of nowhere, attacks Moose with a Singapore cane, and drags him to the back with it. Kross is on his own as KM tags in, and he catches KM with the straitjacket choke. KM goes out, and the ref calls for the bell.
Winners: Moose & Killer Kross
This was an AMAZING match! Everyone came out of this looking like a star. Kross ditches out of the ring and goes looking for Moose as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and Moose and Eddie have not only fought through the back, but up to the roof of the building. Moose uses the Singapore cane to work Eddie over, then tells Eddie it’s time to fly. He picks him up and tries to throw him off the roof, but Eddie escapes his grip, so Moose rams him into the wall instead. He chokes Eddie, but Eddie gouges Moose’s eyes, gets ahold of the cane, and unloads on Moose with it. Moose runs back into the stairwell and closes the door behind him, trapping Eddie (and the poor cameraman) on the roof.
The GWN flashback shows us a four way between AJ Styles, Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe, and Sting from years ago.
Alisha finds Eddie on the roof talking to his Singapore cane, and she screams at him for driving her crazy until he plants a big one on her and tells her that she drives him crazy.
Su Yung vs Kiera Hogan
Kiera ttacks Su during her entrance, and swarms her with repeated charging moves in the corner. Kiera with a flying headscissors and a Greco-Roman kick to the skull for 2. Su turns it around and chokes Kiera with her boot, then hangs her in the Tree of Joey Lawrence and hits a neckbreaker for 2. Su puts the nasty glove on and goes for the mandible claw, but Kiera mounts a comeback. Kiera catches a high kick and counters to a sick powerbomb for 2. Su dumps Kiera to the ramp and drills her with a palmstrike, then goes after her and goes for a Panic Switch off the ramp. Allie runs in to stop that and starts screaming at Su, who just stares a hole through her. A frightened Allie tells Kiera she can’t do this and runs to the back, leaving Kiera by herself. Su catches her coming through the ropes and hits a hanging Pedigree, then the Panic Switch finishes it.
Winner: Su Yung
Good match!
Fenix and Johnny Impact are getting ready for their title match, which happens next!
Josh and Don talk about stuff, and then IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME!
World Title Match: Johnny Impact vs Fenix
Feeling out process to start, then they start doing flippy dippy lucha stuff and wind up at a stalemate. They trade a few chops, then back to flippy dippy. Fenix runs down the ramp and skips up to the top rope to hit a twisting crossbody for 2. Impact with a uranage backbreaker and a Russian legsweep, followed by a Tidal Krush as we go to commercial.
We come back as Impact gets Fenix in a modified Crippler Crossface, but Fenix manages to get to the ropes and then hits a top rope Frankensteiner for 2. Impact with a standing Spanish Fly for 2, Fenix with a rollup for 2, and Impact takes Fenix to the corner and runs face first into a chop to the face. Fenix with a bridging German suplex for 2. Impact with a leg lariat, running kneestrike, and standing shooting star press for a very close 2. Impact goes to the top and misses the twisting flippy elbow, but gets a rolling neckbreaker for 2. Fenix with a big kick to the skull and a springboard headbutt, walk-up spinkick in the corner, then another springboard headbutt for 2. Fenix with a rolling elbow in the corner, Impact tries a tornado DDT, but Fenix lands on his feet, drills Impact with a spinkick again, tries a muscle buster, Impact gets out and drills Fenix with another running knee, and hits Starship Pain for the win.
Winner: Johnny Impact
This was disjointed as all hell. Show of respect after the match, but after Impact goes to the back, the OGz run out and attack Fenix with a fork. Pentagon Jr runs in to make the save, and the OGz head for the hills.
Killer Kross is backstage telling someone that he doesn’t like the word crazy because it insinuates that someone isn’t very smart. He calls the other person crazy and says he can lead to damnation, then walks off as we see Johnny Impact laid out with the title belt and the red X on his chest.
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