Impact Wrestling Results (2/11)

Impact Wrestling Results (2/11)

We start off with our usual look back at last week’s show, then we head to the ring for our opening match.

Best of Five Series Match #2: Michael Elgin vs Eddie Edwards

Elgin is currently up 1-0 as they waste no time going right after each other with hard hitting offense. Eddie hits a dragon screw legwhip in the ropes, then comes off the top with a dropkick that Elgin counters to a sitout powerbomb for 2. Elgin just bashes Eddie with a hard forearm to the jaw, and Eddie rolls to the floor to try and break the momentum. Elgin looks fresh as a daisy as Eddie struggles to his feet, but then Eddie fires up out of nowhere, firing off offense, but Elgin ducks an enziguiri and deadlift German suplexes Eddie, who pops right back up, so Elgin hits a half and half clothesline before steamrolling over Eddie with a hard clothesline for 2. Eddie escapes an attempt at the Elgin bomb, Elgin drills him with another hard forearm, but then Eddie hammers Elgin with a clothesline of his own, followed by a tiger driver for 2. Elgin rolls out to the floor, but Eddie comes right out after him with a high velocity dive that wipes Elgin out like MC Hammer’s bank account. Elgin goes to the second rope, Eddie hits a leaping enziguigi, Eddie goes for a super Frankensteiner (apparently having never seen a Michael Elgin match before), and sure enough, Elgin catches him and he goes to counter to a super Elgin bomb, but Eddie reverses in midair back to the super Frankensteiner. Elgin with a snap flatliner out of nowhere and goes to the crippler crossface, Eddie reverses to a cradle for 2, Eddie with a release German suplex, Elgin ducks the Boston Knee PArty and hits a spinning backfist, Elgin with a buckle bomb and the Elgin bomb finishes it.

Winner: Michael Elgin

Great opening match, and Elgin leads the series 2-0. These guys have great chemistry and I could watch them wrestle all day and be a happy man.

Video package looking at the history leading into Jordynne Grace’s shot at the Knockouts Title tonight.

Gabby is backstage outside Taya Valkyrie’s locker room, and she’s going to try and get a word with her before her big title defense. Taya doesn’t appreciat being interrupted, and she’s always ready, but everyone wants a piece of her, and now she has to defend her title AGAIN. Nobody has believed for her when she was chasing Tessa Blanchard for the title, but she beat her. Then she beat her again in a streetfight. Now she’s the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history, the longest-reigning champion in wrestling, and she’s going to walk out still the champion after tonight.

Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we head back to the ring for our next match…

Madman Fulton vs Daga

Daga unsuccessfully tries to outmaneuver Fulton several times before finally countering a powerbomb to a flying headscissors that sends Fulton to the outside. Daga follows with a dive, and we go to commercial.

We come back as Fulton is easily ragdolling Daga around the ring, so the tide obviously turned while we were at commercial. Fulton picks Daga up for an atomic drop, but instead drops him face first on the top turnbuckle, then hits a release German suplex that drops Daga right on top of his head. Daga finally manages to use his speed to dropkick Fulton into the corner, snap him down on the top rope, and hit a missile dropkick. Daga with a short DDT for 2. Daga with a running double stomp for 2. Fulton goozles Daga and chokeslams him, hangs on, lifts him up by the throat, and chokeslams him again for 2. Fulton picks Daga up for a running powerslam and starts to climb the ropes, Daga slips out and German suplexes Fulton off the second rope, hits a DDT, and the Crists run out to distract Daga, who takes them both out with a dive. Daga springboards back in with an Ace Crusher, Fulton blocks a tornado DDT, and dumps Daga on his head and shoulder with a nasty looking suplex for the win.

Winner: Madman Fulton

Great big man-little man match.

Moose is backstage getting a massage, and he tells the masseuse to tell her family that she massaged a famous man. Rhino is a pain in his ass, and he got booked to face him again at Sacrifice. Rhino comes in to take over for the masseuse, and Moose says to go easy because that hurts, but Rhino says he doesn’t give a damn, and proceeds to beat the tar out of Moose until he runs.

Ethan Page vs Fallah Bahh

Page jumps Bahh before the bell, but Bahh runs him over with a shoulderblock, then Bahh cartwheels past Page (!) and nearly crushes him with a big belly-to-belly suplex. Page goes to the apron, Josh Alexander distracts Bahh, and Page boots him off the apron. Bahh is in peril for a bit, but Bahh does the BAHH comeback, hits a corner avalanche, the assalanche, and aSamoan drop. Bahh drags Page to the corner for the Banzai drop, but Alexander pulls Page out of the way and Bahh lands on his Bahh. TJ Perkins comes into the ring and vaults off Bahh’s back to take Alexander out with a dive, and Bahh small packages Page for the win.

Winner: Fallah Bahh

Biggest small package I’ve ever seen. Fun match otherwise.

Taya and Jordynne are backstage, and they’re…WARMING UP! They’ll face off for the gold TONIGHT!!!

Jim Mitchell is backstage with Jessicka Havok when Suzie walks in, and Mitchell is so happy to see her, and she can come with them so it’s all better now. She says she’s right behind them, then she throws a noose over her shoulder, snarls, and follows them.

Rob Van Dam vs Joey Ryan

Joey rubs baby oil all over himself before locking up. RVD doesn’t seem to want to make contact. Can’t imagine why. He does ROB…VAN…DAM, and Joey responds by telling RVD to touch it. They go face to face for another staredown, and they still aren’t making contact. Instead, Katie gets in the ring and makes out with Rob Van Dam, and she starts dancing in the ring. Both men take a break while she dances, until RVD decides to put the boots to Joey. He teases Rolling Thunder, but isn’t gonna do it. Joey with a dropkick that sends RVD to the outside where he makes out with Katie, Joey follows him out, and Don calls Joey, a 20+ year veteran, an impressive kid. Reminds me of when Gorilla Monsoon called 8000 year old Carlos Colon a youngster in the 1993 Royal Rumble. RVD crotches Joey on the top rope, but we all know he’s not selling that. Instead, RVD goes to the top rope for a leaping thrust kick, then bows to the audience. He teases Rolling Thunder again, but instead ditches out to the floor to make out with Katie some more. Joey recovers and hits a dive, then mounts a fiery babyface comeback. RVD with a rolling bodyscissors for 2, Joey with a small package for 2, Joey puts RVD’s hand on his ding ding, but RVD hits a stepover leg lariat, becoming the first man in history to counter that. RVD with the frogsplash and covers for the win.

Winner: Rob Van Dam

Not a workrate freak’s favorite probably, but for entertainment value between Joey’s schtick and Katie’s comic genius, this was super entertaining.

The Impact Plus flashback takes us back to Eric Young vs Magnus for the World Title (a rematch, not the one where EY won the title), then we go backstage to Johnny Swinger getting ready for his tag team match with Willie Mack, who says the best thing Swinger can do is stay back here because he’s going to do it alone.

Mahabali Shera vs Willie Mack

Mahabali opens the match up by pummeling Mack with hard hitting offense, but Mack responds in kind. Shera no-sells and powers Mack into the corner, but Mack fires back until Rohit Raju runs in for a DQ.

Winner by DQ: Willie Mack

Raju and Shera put the boots to Mack until Swinger runs in with a chair to chase them off. That was SUCH an 80s finish. The announcer says that this is now a tag match, so…

Willie Mack & Johnny Swinger vs Desi Hit Squad

The Babalu Boyz are obviously represented here by Mahabali Shera and Rohit Raju. Shera and Raju trap Swinger in their half of the ring, placing the 80s icon firmly in peril, but he finally breaks away and makes the hot tag. Willie cleans house and hits a cannonball in the corner on Shera before flattening Raju with a Samoan drop, then kips up and hits the Macarena standing moonsault. Swinger tags himself back in and argues with Mack until Shera breaks that up and hits a Sky High for the win.

Winners: Desi Hit Squad

More of an angle than a match.

Gabby is backstage with Tessa Blanchard, who says he’s dealt with mind games for most of the last year while dealing with Sami Callihan, and nothing Ace does is going to shake her. Ace Austin comes in and asks what Tessa is so insecure about, because she won the Knockouts Title, then she won the World Title, and now she’s coming after the top champion in Impact. Ace strokes her hair and says he likes a girl with values, so Tessa predictably begins unloading on him with right hands until security and the Rascalz come in to break it up.

Josh and Don talk about stuff and get hacked, and then…IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME!

Knockouts Title Match: Taya Valkyrie vs Jordynne Grace

Taya gets the jump on Jordynne early, beating her down in the corner and then distracting the referee while John E. Bravo chokes Jordynne. Taya with a double running knees in the corner as we go to commercial.

Jordynne Grace is attempting to make a comeback as we come back, but Taya is firmly in control, choking Jordynne on the ropes and then distracting the ref again so Bravo can interfere. Jordynne finally flattens Taya with a spinebuster, then tries to drive her clear through the mat with a series of bodyslams and then a Michinoku driver for 2. The steps get dragged out from the ring a bit, and Taya powerbombs Jordynne on top of them. Those steps don’t have as much flat area as WWE ring steps, so that was a NASTY looking bump. Jordynne tries to get back in the ring, but Taya stomps on her hand and then goes out after her at ringside, then they head up to the top of the ramp where Taya hits the Road to Valhalla right on the steps. I wonder if it was the road that goes past the dam and Pat’s Deli. Grace mounts a comeback, hitting a Muscle Buster for 2, but then Taya gets a cross armbreaker right in the middle of the ring. Grace reverses to a crippler crossface, but Taya makes it to the ropes. Jordynne quickly comes off the second rope with a Vader Bomb and then hits the Grace Driver, but Bravo pulls the referee out of the ring at 2. That really should be a disqualification, and it drives me nuts that it never gets called. Jordynne drags Bravo into the ring, Taya tries to spear her from behind, but Jordynne moves and she hits Bravo. Jordynne rolls Taya up for a close 2, rips her head off with a hard clothesline, and she goes up to the top rope. Bravo crawls over and covers Taya, so Jordynne crushes them both with a senton, hits the Grace Driver on Taya, and we have a new champion.

Winner and NEW Knockouts Champion: Jordynne Grace

One of the most deserving title wins I’ve seen in a long time. Great match, and Taya’s record title reign is finally over after more than a year, and she deserves credit for being such an entertaining champion, from both a character and match quality standpoint.


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