Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Impact Wrestling Results (1/28)

Impact Wrestling Results (1/28)
We start off with a video package looking back at last week's show, then we head to Mexico for our opening match...



Josh Alexander vs Hijo Del Vikingo

Alexander muscles Vikingo around to start, and Vikingo tries a leaping something but gets caught and slammed by Alexander. Vikingo uses some lucha stuff to maneuver Alexander to the floor, then he goes for a high veolicty dive to the floor and misses COMPLETELY, crashing and burning on the ramp. Alexander brings him back in and proceeds to dish out a methodical beating. Vikingo mounts a comeback, nearly spills out on another flippy dippy attempt, recovers, and actually manages to hit a dive to the floor without killing himself. Vikingo decides to press his luck and moonsaults off the guardrail, then does a twisting dive that barely grazes Page, but Page is nice enough to sell it anyway. Back into the ring where Vikingo hits a running double knees in the corner, then he goes to the top rope and hits a 450 splash for 2. Alexander catches Vikingo on a flying headscissors and powerbombs him over the knee for 2. Alexander goes for a super powerbomb, Vikingo counters to a super Frankensteiner, then he gets a sunset flip for 2. Alexander goes for a tiger bomb, Vikingo counters to a West Coast Pop for the win.

Winner: Vikingo

Aside from Vikingo's stunning display of spot-blowing mastery, this is an upset win.

Gabby knocks on Taya Valkyrie's door backstage for comments on the triple threat match, and Taya says she's an honest person, and she promised Kiera and Madison a title shot, and Jordynne Grace doesn't deserve to be in the match tonight. Taya tells Gabby to take her microphone and her little red dress and just scoot out of here.

Moose says he has nothing to prove to anyone, but he hopes Rhino is wathcing his match tonight, because after he's done with him, YOU'RE...nah, he's not playing that.

Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we head back to the ring for our next match...

The Rascalz vs Murder Clown & Pagano

Rascalz are being represented by Dez and Wentz tonight. Murder starts by press slamming Wentz, but then Wentz baseball slides his knee out and connects with a running knee. Dez tags in and hits a flying headscissors, and Murder tags in Pagano. Now we do the paint-by-the-numbers lucha flippy spot stuff. Murder disrupts the Rascalz attempting to dive and drags them to the floor so Pagano can hit a dive and take them out. Murder Clown becomes the first man in tag team spotfest history by not going down when his partner plows into him as hard as he plowsd into his opponents. Double team facebuster by Murder and Pagano, and they hit the Street Sweeper on Wentz. Murder hits the world's fattest 619, then heads to the top rope, but the Rascalz hit a double team superplex. Wentz with a swanton, Dez comes 2/3 of the way across the ring with a Spiral Tap, and covers Murder for the win.

Winners: The Rascalz

It was a lucha spotfest.

Michael Elgin is backstage saying the title shot trophy belongs to him, and tonight they start a best of five series, but he won't need five matches because he's going to beat Eddie three matches in a row. Elgin's goal has always been the World Title, and after he gets that trophy, it'll be his.

Moose vs Taurus

Moose works the arm, and Mini Mantaur flippy dips his way out and hits a flying headscissors. They trade chops in the middle of the ring until Moose decides to cut to the chase and kick Taurus in the gut. Taurus comes off the top with a twisting...well, I have no idea what it was supposed to be because it doesn't come close to hitting, but Moose is nice enough to sell it anyway. Taurus follows that up with another dive to the floor, but then Moose posts him and rolls back into the ring. Taurus slowly follows him in, and Moose begins to work him over with methodical offense. Moose tries to unmask Taurus, which I think is actually a felony in Mexico. Taurus mounts a comeback and hits a slingblade for 2. Taurus with a bunch of kicks, Moose headbutts him, Taurus headbutts Moose back, Moose posts Taurus and then follows with the spear for the win.

Winner: Moose

Nice showcase for Moose, who barely has time to celebrate before Rhino runs in and tears him in half with the gore.

Eddie Edwards is backstage saying that Michael Elgin does a lot of talking, but he wass the one who got his hand raised at Hard To Kill, and it doesn't matter if it's best of five or 5,000, he's going to win the series and then call his shot.

The Impact Flashback of the Week is a Kurt Angle vs James Storm match from years ago.

Joey Ryan is backstage saying he's not surprised a legend doesn't like him, but he's confused about why Rob Van Dam feels that way. He knows it's not because he's too extreme for RVD, it's because Katie wants to touch it.

Taya Valkyrie joins Josh and Don for our next match...

#1 Contender's Match: Jordynne Grace vs Madison Rayne vs Kiera Hogan

Jordynne dominates the match early on, but the numbers catch up to her and she winds up on the receiving end of a 2-on-1 beating for a good little while. Taya is hilarious on commentary, calling Madison and Kiera Thing 1 and Thing 2, and saying Bravo took an airline called Viva Airbus to the show, which is like the worst airline ever apparently. Jordynne reverses a double suplex attempt and tosses both of them, then mounts a comeback with some sweet power offense. Jordynne goes to the top and gets slammed off by both opponents, then Kiera hits an assisted Sliced Bread #2. They both go for a cover, and now that leads to a bit of friction. Kiera gets a dragon sleeper on Kiera, Jordynne gets one of her own on Kiera, and then a series of superkicks and enziguiris sends Jordynne out to the floor. Kiera and Madison play rock paper scissors to decide who goes out to get Jordynne, but it doesn't matter because Jordynne drags Madison out and flattens her, then goes into the ring and hits the Grace Driver on Kiera for the win.

Winner: Jordynne Grace

Very one-sided affair as Jordynne steamrolls through Madison and Kiera to earn one more shot at Taya Valkyrie.

Ace Austin takes us on a little history lesson, showing himself beating Trey two times in a row, then says he's moving on to bigger and better things because he beat the World Champion.

Johnny Swinger is backstage with Willie Mack and says they need to work on their teamwork if they want to win the belts. Mack says they're not a tag team, and Swinger says that's right because he needs to put some time in here. Mack says Swinger used to be cool in ECW, but now he's a creepy old man.

TJ Perkins is backstage coaxing Fallah Bahh out of the dressing room to see his new tights. TJ loves it, but Bahh isn't quite sold.

Reno Scum vs Daga & Dr Wagner Jr

Feeling out process to start as Daga and Adam Thornstowe do a sequence, then Wagner tags in to go at it with Luster the Legend. Luster easily overpowers Wagner, and nearly slams him through the mat and then hits a diving headbutt for 2. Thornstowe drags Daga to the floor and rams him into the guardrail, and he is officially...in peril. Daga manages to hit a DDT and gets the tag to Wagner, who cleans house on both members of Reno Scum. Daga hits a short DDT on Thornstowe before taking Luster out with a dive to the floor, and Wanger hits Thornstowe with a superkick and a Michinoku Driver for 2. Reno Scum turns it around and hits a catapult into a death valley driver on Daga for 2. Wagner backdrops Luster to the floor and thentakes him out with a dive that landed at such a crazy angle that Wagner basically gave himself a DDT oon the floor. Daga pins Thornstowe in the ring...

Winners: Daga & Dr. Wagner Jr

...just as oVe runs in and attacks Wagner and Daga, leaving both men laying.

Rosemary finds Suzie wandering around backstage, and suggests that what she's looking for might be in the battle arena. She asks if Suzie wants to be a warrior, and offers to show her how it's done next week. Suzie is cool with the idea, so it looks like she returns to the ring next week.

And with that, IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!

Best of Five Series Match #1: Michael Elgin vs Eddie Edwards

Feeling out process to start, but they quickly pick up the pace as Eddie takes Elgin to the mat and goes for the Achilles Lock. Elgin escapes that, so Edwards goes for an STF instead, and Elgin makes it to the ropes. They go to the floor where Elgin giant swings Eddie into the barricade as we go to commercial.

We're back as Elgin is pummeling Eddie with hard forearms, but Eddie ducks a shot and counters to a blue thunder bopmb, and looks like the momentum has turned. Eddie catches Elgin in the Achilles Lock again, but Elgin kicks his way free, so Eddie goes back to the STF. Elgin gets free and hits what can best be described as an inverted Cop Killa, and looks like it could have broken Eddie's neck. Elgin with a series of corner clotheslines, but Eddie has the where withal to counter out of a suplex attempt. Elgin instead goes to rolling German suplexes, the last one a release suplex, and Elgin comes off the ropes with a sliding elbow to the back of Eddie's skull for 2. Eddie starts to fire back and hits a tiger bomb for 2. Eddie puts Elgin on the top rope, but Elgin hoists him into a fireman's carry and hits a super sitout cradle shock for 2. Elgin goes right to a crippler crossface, and Eddie rolls out. Elgin with a flurry of elbows to Eddie's skull, and Eddie is out as Elgin goes back to the crossface. The referee checks Eddie and stops the match.

Winner: Michael Elgin (1-0)

Elgin starts the series with a win in a really good, hard-hitting match that was needed after all the flippy dippy stuff and blown spots earlier in the show.


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