Impact Wrestling Results – March 8, 2019

Impact Wrestling

We start out the show with the opening video package, then head right to the ring for our opening match!

Rich Swann (X-Division Champion) vs. Ethan Page (Non-title Match)

The match gets started with Swann and Page locking up. Swann pulls Page in to a headlock but he’s pushed off and it incites a series of reversals until Swann hits Page with a dropkick. Swann continues the pressure with chops but Page drops him with a right and stomps away. Swann comes off the ropes with a hurricanrana, he then follows it up with a comeback kick for a 2 count. Page leaps over Swann in the corner and uppercuts him. Swann rocks Page with a kick but is nevertheless reverse suplexed from Page for a 2 count of his own.

Page with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as he keeps pressure on Swann. Continues with stomps and knees to Swann’s back, followed by a forearm to the same spot. Swann fights back but eats a spinning elbow from Page. Page taunts the audience as they boisterously boo him. Page takes too long with his taunts and gets knocked with elbows and kicks. Swann with a blockbuster on a seated Page. Swann leapfrogs Page, causing him to fall through the ropes and to the outside. Swann with a topei somersault dive over, he pulls Page back in the ring, and connects with the frog splash for a close 2 count.

Swann goes back to the top rope but Page forces him to lose his balance. Page with a unique arm drag and a variation of the Snow Plow for another 2 count. The two men start exchanging rights back and forth. Page uses a big boot to throw Swann off, however, he comes back and they continue their shots back and forth. Page bounces off the ropes but eats a boot, same scenario happens in reverse with Swann getting rocked. The two trade some sharp kicks until Swann hits the springboard cutter and a phoenix splash for the 1-2-3!

Winner: Rich Swann

Sami Callihan and oVe storm the ring after Swann’s victory. The Crists and Callihan each pick a side of the ring and Callihan jumps on the mic. Callihan tells the crowd that he’s got a spoiler for them: tonight is the night that Swann joins oVe. When the crowd boos in response, Callihan tells Swann to ignore them because they’re just sheep. Callihan reminds Swann that he told him they were family. Callihan demands that Swann put on the shirt, but just before he throws it in his face, Callihan tells him to wait. He says that family is everything. Swann actually embraces Callihan with a bug hug, and then he puts on the oVe t-shirt. Swann was fooling the trio – he superkicks Callihan in the back of the head and connects with a double, handspring cutter on the Crists before escaping the ring and ripping off the oVe shirt.

Back from commercial, LAX is backstage and they ask Konnan about the rematch the the Lucha Bros. Ortiz says that if they have another shot, they won’t be getting their a–es kicked. Konnan tells them to worry about themselves while he takes care of the rematch aspect. LAX consults one another while Konnan walks away.

Cage is interviewed after his loss on last week’s episode of Impact. With blood covering his face, he can barely stand and the refs break up the attempt at an interview.

Ace Austin vs. Jake Atlas

The match gets going with Austin quickly gaining the advantage with an armbar. Atlas gets a couple of holds on Austin but he’s rocked with a kick to the chest. Austin trips Atlas and gives him a couple more kicks. Atlas dodges but the two bump chests. Austin goes for a kick but Atlas evades and gives him a boot of his own. Atlas with a couple of forearms and a few chops. Austin uses the ropes to evade some more shots, he then connects with a springboard kick for a close 2 count on Atlas. Atlas with a kick and a samoan drop maneuver. Austin with kicks to the knees and the back of the head. He hypes up the crowd and delivers The Fold (running blockbuster) for the 1-2-3.

Winner: Ace Austin

We see an interview that features Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie. Impact is confronted about letting Brian Cage down in the main event last week. Impact says that he did indeed let Cage down, but injuries happen and he didn’t intend for that. He says that even if he does have to get neck surgery, he will be a man of his word and defend his title against Cage.

Reno Scum is backstage talking about the fluke victory that KM and Fallah Bahh got in their return next week. They tell Bahh/KM that they’re gonna be silenced by the violence.

Alisha Edwards comes out to make her important announcement. She thanks Impact for being able to show the Impact audience that anything is possible. Edwards tells the crowd that she has fun coming out each week and hitting people with kendo sticks, however, it might be time for her to stay home and start a family with Eddie. The Desi Hit Squad interrupts her. Rohit tells Alisha that she’s making sense because women’s jobs are to be at home as a housewife. Gama and his fellow DHS member reinforce the belief that women should just stay home and server their man. She slaps Gama right in the face and then Eddie comes out and wacks everyone in the DHS with his kendo stick. Rohit and Raj double-team Eddie and stomp away at him in the corner. Eli Drake comes out and acts like he’s going to help them stomp at Edwards. Instead, Eli helps him out and Gravy Trains the DHS as Gama slithers out of the ring. Drake tells Eddie to think about it as he exits the ring and walks up the ramp.

Backstage, Cage is interviewed once again but he’s disgusted by Menendez’s reporting. Cage pushes him out of the way and continues down the hallway.

Back from commercial, Eddie and Alisha are seemingly arguing because Alisha was telling the crowd before talking to Eddie about starting a family. Eli walks up and tells Edwards that he made it clear that they are ready to chase after some tag team gold. Eddie says that he wants to continue on with a singles career. Alisha advocates for Drake, telling Eddie that there’s something there when he teams up with Drake. Drake convinces Eddie to team with him to face the Desi Hit Squad next week.

Backstage, Moose and Killer Kross are being interviewed and Moose says that he feels fabulous and boasts about his clothes. Kross tells him that he’s a fan of his fashion sense. Kross tells Impact that next time he sees John and he doesn’t have a title shot ready for him, he’s gonna send him back to the hospital. Moose tells Kross that he’s got a reservation to the best steakhouse in Vegas. He tries to get Melissa to be his date but she refuses.

Back from commercial, The Rascalz are goofing off in their usual smoking circle. Dez tells them that they need to wear masks to really go toe-to-toe with the Lucha Bros. He hold up Kikutaro’s mask to Wentz’s horror, thinking he ripped his face off. They make jokes about Moose trying to his on Melissa just before the break. They agree to give the masks back and continue with their Rascalz secret handshake.

Su Yung, Dark Allie & The Undead Made Of Honor vs. Jordynne Grace, Kiera Hogan, & Rosemary (Dark War)

All 3 members of Rosemary’s team connect with clotheslines to all 3 members of Yung’s team. Hogan with a dropkick and multiple running attacks on Yung in the corner turnbuckles. Rosemary and Allie are tagged in to the match. Allie avoids Rosemary and tags in the MOH. Rosemary catches MOH and clubs away at her chest. She catches her in the corner and puts her in the upside down, choking her on the top rope. She climbs back inside the ring and tags in Grace. Allie is tagged in and she attacks Rosemary, receiving a german suplex for her troubles. Hogan comes in and covers Allie for the 2 count. Allie’s team starts taking advantage of the numbers game and it allows Allie to connect with a neckbreaker on the ropes to Hogan.

Back from commercial, Yung is in control of Hogan and gets a 2 count on a pin. Allie is tagged in and gives an onslaught of some of her own offense. She hits Hogan with a clothesline in the corner and then follows it up with stomps on a seated Hogan. Yung is tagged back in as the MOH chokes Hogan on the ropes. Allie laughs in the camera as Yung stomps at Hogan. Yung rocks Hogan with a clothesline. She ties Hogan in a straight jacket submission but eventually lets up. Allie comes in and continues pressure on Hogan. Eventually, Rosemary is tagged in and she comes face to face with Allie. She mezmerizes her and then knocks Yung out of the ring. Rosemary with a reverse DDT on Allie. The MOH comes in and gives a sidewalk slam to Rosemary. Hogan rocks her with a kick and sends her out. Panic Swith from Yung to Hogan. Bubba Bomb from Grace to Yung, and then Allie takes out Grace. The women clutter the ring until Hogan suicide dives Yung and Rosemary spears the MOH for the 1-2-3!

Winners: Rosemary, Kiera Hogan, and Jordynne Grace

As per the rules, Rosemary wins Dark Allie’s soul, so she puts some sort of leash on her and begins to lead her to the back. James Mitchell has to hold Yung back as she writhes, distraught.

Glenn Gilbertti comes up to Konnan and asks him about what’s going on with Impact management and Don Callis. He convinces Gilbertti to go in to Callis’ office and tell him that he can kick his ass. Gilbertti does just that, however, he ends up yelling at Killer Kross about how he can definitely kick his ass. Kross tests that theory and attacks Gilbertti.

We come back from commercial and see Gilbertti still trying to find Impact higher ups. He continues mistaking random people for members of Impact management until he finds Scott D’Amore. D’Amore reminds Gilbertti that he can’t find Don Callis because he is ringside, doing commentary. Gilbertti becomes convinced that this means Dons him to do commentary alongside him. Gilbertti jumps on the commentary booth and complains about nobody knowing where he should go backstage. Matthews excuses himself and heads in to the ring.

Matthews introduces Scarlett Bordeaux. He asks her why she chose herself as the winner as the talent search. She thought it was pitiful that all those men were trying so hard to win the talent search. Bordeaux says that Gilbertti had the most embarrassing talent search video out of everyone. Gilbertti asks Bordeaux what is wrong with her. He says why does she want to wrestle if she knows she’s gonna suck? Gilbertti says that women’s wrestling hasn’t been as good since bra and panties matches, and since Impact doesn’t have those, she has no place there. Bordeaux calls Gilbertti misogynistic and then pops him in the eye. She tells Gilbertti that she can kick his ass and he responds perplexed. Gilbertti tells Bordeaux that the women’s revolution is causing her to think irrationally. He tells her to go play the role of housewife, and then her head will be in the place it will need to be. He tries to leave but Bordeaux grabs the mic and says, “you may think I’m just a woman, but next time I see you, I’m gonna make you my b—h.” Apparently, if he comes back and she still wants to fight, they’ll go one-on-one.

We see Rosemary telling Hogan and Grace to leave and go home. Hogan refuses and says that they are going to stay until the end. Rosemary tells her that this is the end for her. The screen goes to black as we go to commercial.

Backstage, Melissa Santos tells Tessa Blanchard that she will face Jodynne Grace in a couple of weeks and the winner will get a Knockout Championship match if she wins. Blanchard tells her that she always gets what she wants and if she has to beat Jordynne Grace for the opportunity, so be it.

The Lucha Bros (Impact Tag Team Champions) vs. The Rascalz (Non-title Match)

The match gets started out as quick as expected, with Dez and Fenix locking up until Fenix pulls his arm in to a cover. They test strength and Dez pulls Fenix in to a headlock. He comes off the ropes and rocks Fenix with a shoulder tackle, however, Fenix nips up instantly. Dez with a superkick to Fenix. Fenix dodges some shots and the Lucha Bros go on a swift flurry of kicks on both Rascalz. Penta attacks Wentz on the outside while The Lucha Bros connect with a codebreaker, double stomp, and a wheelbarrow splash on Dez for the two count.

Fenix chops Wentz out of the ring and kicks at the back of Dez’s head. Dez fights back and forces Fenix to spear in to the abdomen of Penta. Wentz tags in and delivers a flurry of shots, kicks, and an enziguri to Fenix. He knocks Penta off the apron and gives Fenix a running knee strike in the corner. Wentz with a springboard knee for a close 2 count on Fenix. Wentz taunts at Penta while he looks on. Fenix knees Wentz in the head as he attempts a suplex. Fenix chops down Wentz and then tags in Penta. Wentz hops to the 2nd rope but Penta kicks the feet out from under him.

Wentz with a kick to Penta’s head on the ring apron that sends him outside. Wentz is also knocked to the outside. Fenix tries to follow up but he’s knocked off the top rope to the floor. Wentz launches Dez over his head with a somersault splash on The Lucha Bros. They deliver top rope swantons and top rope attacks for another close 2 count. Fenix and Dez knock one another with chops and forearms. Dez is superkicked out of the ring. Wentz eats a superkick and a Pentagon driver for the 1-2-3!

Winner: The Lucha Bros

After the match, Penta & Fenix celebrate with their Tag Team titles as the crowd cheers along. The Lucha Bros head to the back and are welcomed by Konnan. Penta says that LAX should not be messing with their masks. They think they deserve mutual respect between every one. Konnan asks for a rematch but The Lucha Bros thinks that it’s too soon. Konnan says that he’s not asking for the Tag Title rematch, he’s telling them that it will be happening.

Fade out.

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