We start off with our customary look back at last week’s episode, then we go to the ring for our opening match…
Matt Sydal vs Rich Swann
Sydal extends the hand to Swann before the match, and Swann takes it…then suckerpunches Sydal. Sydal rolls to the floor and Swann takes him out with a dive, then beats hmi up around ringside. Swann briefly regains control back in the ring before they head back to the floor. Swann drills Sydal with a big right hand, but Sydal crawls under the ring to get away. Swann reaches under the ring to grab Sydal and gets hit in the face with some kind of foreign object. They head back into the ring where Sydal plants Swann in the mat with a side suplex. Swann turns Sydal inside out with a flying headscissors and then gets an indy kick for 2. Swann with a Lethal Injection, but only gets 2. That’s what happens when you’re not the greatest first generation wrestler. Swann goes to the top, but takes too long and Sydal is able to block him. Sydal hits the standing super Frankensteiner, but Swann lands on his feet and hits a superkick right in the face. Swann puts Sydal on top for his own standing super Frankensteiner, but Sydal counters to a powerbomb for a close 2. Swann hits a big spinning superkick, and Sydal goes down like a ton of bricks. Swann goes back to the top, and again takes a really long time to get up there, and apparently it’s because Ethan Page took too long to get to ringside and powerbomb Swann into the ring so Sydal can get a cheap cover for 3.
Winner: Matt Sydal
Great match, and surprise return by Ethan Page was fun.
We go to the oVe Cam where Dave Crist is having a nervous breakdown after the Lucha Brothers used their magical powers on him last week. Sami insists they don’t have magical powers, but WE KNOW WHAT WE SAW.
Eddie Edwards gets a call from his wife’s phone, but on the other end is Moose! Eddie asks where Alisha is, and Moose brings up some mysterious place they’re both familiar with from 2014 and tells him to meet him there. Oh geez.
Scarlett Bordeaux comes out to the broadcast booth, and Josh and Don trip over each other trying to pull out a chair and get Scarlett a headset. She says she’s already the hottest thing in Impact Wrestling, and she’s out here scouting for someone she can make into a champion.
Eli Drake comes out and informs us that it’s still open challenge season, and out comes his next challenger…
Eli Drake vs La Parka
La Parka goes right after Drake and chokes him in the corner before drilling him with hard chops. Parka does some senior citizen dancing and takes a neckbreaker from Drake somewhat badly. Parka grabs a chair and waddles at Drake with it, but a dead man could have gotten away from him in time, which is what Drake does. He keeps walking to the back and gets counted out.
Winner by countout: La Parka
Well, that was nothing to write home about.
We go to the LAX clubhouse, and Konnan says they weren’t going to take the bait from Kingston, but then the OGz come into the clubhouse to try and stir things up again. The OGz take the belts from where they’re hanging, and also the flag, and King tells Konnan to do something about it. Konnan says he practically raised him, and King says to do something about it because this is how he raised him. King keeps going, taking their dominoes and their booze…then spits it in Konnan’s face. To his credit, Konnan keeps his cool, and the OGz walk off laughing. Santana says it’s done and makes a throat slashing motion as we go to commercial.
Matt Sydal is backstage with Ethan Page, and he says he can’t open everyone’s third eye, but Ethan Page sees things the way he does. Page says Swann blew his opportunity, and Sydal says now they are going to be a tag team and will face Swann and whoever he wants to bring to Bound For Glory to face the two of them. Page says Swann refused to open his third eye, so he’s gonna stick his foot up Swann’s brown eye.
Joe Hendry vs Murder Clown
Joe Hendry gets a mic and says they were a little concerned about her new business associate until they discovered some new footage. They play a Hendry music video where he imitates Clown and says he may not be a pirate or related to her, but he’s a murderous clown that just can’t be sated. Oh, the creativity being wasted in this company. Murder Clown attacks Hendry before the bell, and Hendry tries to maneuver around him, but clown flattens him with a clothesline, then hangs him in the Tree of Woe and hits a low delayed dropkick. Clown continues dishing out punishment, but kisses a legdrop, and Hendry hoists Clown up, holds him, and hits a fallaway slam. That doesn’t last long before Clown flattens Hendry with a clothesline, then flattens him even more with a top rope splash for the win.
Winner: Killer Clown
Killer Clown gets a table from under the ring and Grado gets in his way to stand up for his friend. Katarina gives him a Flair uppercut from behind, and Grado rolls to the floor as Clown puts Hendry on the table and puts him through it with a top rope splash. Katarina is ecstatic.
Another video hyping Abyss’ induction into the Hall of Fame, then we get to Eddie Edwards finding Moose and Alisha…somewhere. Moose is at the end of a long table with Alisha and tells him not to come any closer, drop the kendo stick, and sit down. Alisha tells him to do what Moose says, and he obliges. Moose asks him where he was when he was in the hospital, and Eddie tells him that Aries and Kross aren’t his friends. Moose says he was always there for Eddie, but Eddie wasn’t there for him when he needed him. Eddie says he was a bad friend and deserved to get his ass kicked, and he hopes they can hug it out after Bound For Glory. Alisha grabs Moose’s cup of water and splashes it in his face, distracting him long enough for Alisha to get to the door and Eddie to attack Moose. Killer Kross comes in out of nowhere and attacks Eddie, but Eddie puts his thumbs in his eyes, and he and Alisha run. They get outside the building and Eddie gets his phone out and calls Johnny Impact, telling him to take care of Austin Aries. We’re at commercial.
We come back to Johnny Impact kicking in the door to Austin Aries’ locker room and searching the place looking for him, but he’s not in there. He searches all around backstage, but he’s nowhere to be found. I wonder if he’s with the criminal kingpins from the LAX-OGz feud. He almost suckerpunches a guy who looks nothing like Aries, then says hi to McKenzie and says it’s nice to have her back. She goes, “I never left.”
We go back to the arena, as Johnny Impact comes out and grabs a mic, and calls Austin Aries out. Aries slowly comes out with his arm in a sling, moving very gingerly on his way to the ring. He tells Impact he’s here, and he’s alone, but after last week when he hit him in the head with his World Title, he’s suffered some injuries. He has a concussion, nerve damage in his arm, and he fell on his way to the back and twisted his ankle and has a bad back. Impact didn’t think he was going to come out here, and he’s clearly had an inconvenient day, but he’s right about one thing: he’s not going to whoop his ass tonight, he’s going to do it at Bound For Glory because he wants the Impact World Title to prove that nobody here is better than him in the ring. It’s about proving who’s the best, not who can hire the most goons or politic backstage. The title should be about Austin Aries vs Johnny Impact, so since he came out here by himself tonight, he wants to know if Aries can do the same at Bound For Glory. Aries reminds Impact that he already beat him, and he even won the title in 45 seconds in his street clothes. He guarantees, and his word is his bond, that Moose and Killer Kross will not come to ringside, because he doesn’t need anybody to beat him. He knows exactly who he is: the World Champion, and the best wrestler in the world. Aries asks him if he’s Johnny Nitro, Johnny Mundo, John Hennigan, Johnny Survivor, and he’s spent his career putting his eggs in a million baskets. Aries says he spent his career putting all his eggs in a basket called pro wrestling, and he’s the master of this world. Johnny Imapct looks like a million bucks with his robe, tights, abs, and hair, and he looks like he should be the World Champion, and he looks like a great pretend pro wrestler. Aries admits he may not look the part of the man, he just is The Man. At Bound For Glory, Johnny Impact is going to walk that aisle looking like a million dollars, like he’s finally going to become the World Champion, and everyone in the building will believe it, but then Aries will come out in black trunks, black boots, and he doesn’t even care if they play his music, because he’s going to get in that ring and beat him. It doesn’t matter how good you look coming to the ring, it’s whether you can do it when you get in the ring, and Impact will never be able to beat him. He can be like Moose if he wants and join him when Aries beats him, but before Johnny has to change his name to Johnny 205, he better realize what he’s getting himself into. Johnny says his choices are either getting in the ring with him at Bound For Glory, or giving up his title shot and become his lap dog, and he would rather get wheeled out of Bound For Glory on a stretcher than accept that offer. Aries says that’s fine, and he’ll see him at Bound For Glory, but first, he has one last thing to say…and he blasts him in the face with the microphone. Aries pulls the sling off and puts the boots to Impact, tries to hit him with the belt, but Impact ducks and superkicks Aries, then hits him with Starship Pain.
Brian Cage is backstage and says he’s going out there and do what he said he would: decimate oVe. He’s starting with the Crist brothers, and he’s not shaving hair or anything else, but when he’s done with them, Sami Callihan is getting a whooping from the Machine.
The Desi Arnaz Hit Squad is backstage getting upset at blowing their shot last week. Gama said by any means necessary, and they should pay attention to that. Speaking of Gama, he comes in and beats them both with a broomstick, then says that they’re facing each other next week to figure out who the weak link in the team is.
The GWN flashback takes us back to the aftermath of the Hogan-Sting match from Bound For Glory years ago as they lay out the other members of Immortal.
Jack Evans finds Scarlett Bordeaux backstage and does a standing backflip to impress her. She strokes him up and walks off, looking up some luchador dressed like…I dunno, a cat king? She goes into the X Division locker room as Petey Williams and Trevor Lee try unsuccessfully to impress her and end up arguing with each other. She tells them there’s no fighting on the Smoke Show, and suggests they settle it in the ring instead.
The Lucha Brothers do one of their spirit world promos, calling oVe estupido because they’re not in Ohio, they’re with their people, and they’ll demonstrate why they are the best tag team in the world.
Kiera Hogan vs Su Yung
Su tries to jump Kiera at the start, but Kiera absolutely unloads on Su with a flurry of offense, and a baseball slide in the corner gets 2. Kiera tries a flying headscissors, but Su adjusts and drops Kiera on her face for 2. Su keeps up the pressure as Allie cheers Kiera on from ringside, and that fires Kiera up as she unloads with a babyface comeback. Su rolls to the floor, and Kiera takes her out with a dive through the ropes. Kiera rolls Su back into the ring and covers for 2. Kiera escapes the Panic Switch and hits a sitout powerbomb for 2. Kiera goes to the top, the UMoH tries to interfere, Allie fights her off, Su knocks Allie off the apron, Su grabs Kiera and hits the Panic Switch, and that’s all she wrote.
Winner: Su Yung
Short but good match. Su has her undead bridesmaids carry a coffin out of the back, but Allie attacks Su before she can put Kiera in it. Allie fights off the UMoH and ditches Su to the floor, then chases her up the ramp…RIGHT TOWARD THE COFFIN. The UMoH attacks Allie from behind, giving Su an opening to get the mandible claw, drag her up the ramp, open the casket…and then Kiera saves Allie. Su immediately gets the claw on Kiera and tosses her into the coffin, closing the lid as Allie screams in despair.
We come back from commercial, and Allie is having a nervous breakdown backstage over what just happened to Kiera. She finally calms down and says she knows what she has to do.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we head back to the ring.
oVe comes out, and Sami Callihan says Impact management lets them do whatever they want, so even though they already have a six man tag scheduled for Bound For Glory, he doesn’t want to wait for Bound For Glory, and he calls Brian Cage and the Lucha Brothers to come out and do this RIGHT NOW!
oVe vs Brian Cage, Pentagon Jr & Fenix
Team Lucha gets the early advantage, but a double distraction by the Crists allows Sami to hang Fenix up on the top rope and hit a twisting suplex off the ropes. They trap him in their half of the ring while taking cheapshots at Cage and Pentagon, but Fenix escapes the All Seeing Eye and makes a tag to Cage, who comes in and tears through the Crists before popping Callihan up and planting him with a powerbomb. cage goes back to beating up the Crists and suplexes them both at the same time. Callihan drills him with a bicycle kick to the face, but cage no-sells it, so Callihan suddenly throws the referee down to get himself disqualified.
Winners by DQ: Brian Cage, Pentagon Jr & Fenix
A brawl breaks out after the match, and Cage deadlift suplexes one of the Crists onto everyone else on the floor, then everyone does “let’s take turns hitting spots to the floor and then immediately pop back up and continue brawling” as we go off the air.
Results by Stuart Carapola of PWInsider.
LATEST NEWS var numposts = 5;var showpostthumbnails = true;var displaymore = false;var displayseparator = true;var showcommentnum = false;var showpostdate = false;var showpostsummary = true;var numchars = 100;
