We start off with a video package looking back at the events of Slammiversary, then we head to the ring as the man who is still the NWA:TNA/GFW Global Impact World Heavyweight Champion, Austin Aries, comes out to the ring to address the fans.
He says that this past Sunday, Impact delivered what people are calling the PPV of the year, possibly the greatest in company history. Each and every man and woman who set foot in that ring set the bar higher than the one before, until it came down to the main event, where people now wonder how Austin Aries and Moose would top that, but they did. They delivered, because that’s what he does: delivers what main event WRESTLING matches should be. Despite being 6’5″ and 270 pounds, Moose couldn’t beat him, and Aries is still the World Champion. Aries asks what it means to be champion, and says that it means there’s nobody better in the industry than him. Other men are claiming to be the best, but if you’re sitting in a bubble being handed a piece of paper with his lines, and being told what to do in the ring, you’re not really the best. But if you’re going from one promotion and one continent to another, winning belts everywhere, and doing it outside the bubble, taking on all comers from everywhere in the world, then you’re the best, and that’s what the Impact World Title represents. He doesn’t care what company you work for, what station you’re on, they have an open invitation to come to Impact and step in the ring with him and prove they’re the best. Aries keeps going as Eddie Edwards climbs into the ring behind him with a kendo stick, and Aries turns around just in time to take a shot with the stick to the ribs, after which Eddie hits a Cactus DDT, holds the stick in his mouth, and holds up the World Title belt.
We go to Josh and Don who talk about stuff and run down tonight’s card, then they throw it to the ring for our opening match…
Petey Williams vs Taiji Ishimori
Ishimori has gone through a bit of an image change since we last saw him, he now wears a skull mask and calls himself the Bone Soldier. They do a fast paced back and forth to start, and Petey gets an early advantage with a slingshot Codebreaker. Petey hangs him in the Tree of Woe and does the Oh Canada groin smash, but Ishimori uses his speed to outmaneuver Petey and take him down with a springboard vertical drop. Petey is in peril for a bit before folding Ishimori in half with a German suplex, then a side Russian legsweep, and a Finnish cover for 2. Petey with a Latvian Flatliner for 2, and sets up for the Canadian Destroyer. Ishimori stops that with a Japanese kick to the gut, then knocks Petey into next week with a We Are The World handspring enziguiri for 2. Ishimori with shotgun knees, and then a second time before heading to the top for the 450 splash. He takes all day to do it, telling me he probably won’t hit it. Sure enough, Petey moves out of the way, goes for the Destroyer, Ishimori escapes and counters to the Tombstone lungblower, and gets 2. Petey hits a pop-up powerbomb, Ishimori blocks the Destroyer and gets a small package for 2. Ishimori hits an implant Codebreaker for the win.
Winner: Taiji Ishimori
Good match! The Desi Arnaz Hit Squad runs in and attacks both men after the match, laying them both out while Gama encourages them on from ringside.
Alicia is backstage with Santino Marella, who says he misses wrestling, but introduces one of his students who’d like a shot here. Austin Aries comes in and says he doesn’t know what he’s doing here, but he got laid out just now by Eddie Edwards, and says for him to just get outta here. Santino says he used to be a fan of his, but not now. Aries challenges him to get in the ring and says he doesn’t slap like washed up old men do. Marella says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle, so Aries challenges his student instead. The student is ecstatic that he got a title match, and Marella tells Alicia that at least he paid up front.
Rebel vs Tessa Blanchard
Rebel gets Tessa frustrated early on with a split into a rollup and a handspring elbow, but a Pat O’Connor sunset flip is countered to a stomp by Tessa, who then whips Rebel face first into the ropes and dropkicks her in the back for 2. Tessa with a snapmare and indy kick to the back, Rebel with a schoolgirl rollup for 2, Tessa misses a dropkick, and Rebal with a series of kicks rattles Tessa. Rebel with a gourdbuster with a split for 2. Rebel to the second rope for a split drop, but takes too long and Tessa catches her with a hanging DDT. Tessa violently hauls Rebel up by the hair and hits the hammerlock DDT for the win.
Winner: Tessa Blanchard
Good short match. Rebel looked a lot better here than the last time I saw her.
Scarlett Bordeaux is backstage, and she’s…TANTALIZING MEN! She debuts next!
Scarlett Bordeaux comes out to the ring and is welcomed by Alicia, and corrects her by calling her the Smoke Show, Scarlett Bordeaux. Scarlett says we’re in the middle of a revolution, and she wants to be a part of that and help inspire women, fight for women’s rights, and be known as the greatest women’s activist of all time. Alicia says like Susan B. Anthony, but Scarlett says like Marilyn Monroe. They say women should cover up to be empowered, but she won’t be hot shamed. Alicia asks what that is, and Scarlett says she wouldn’t expect her to know, then tells “five” to shut up because a “ten” is talking, then tells her to go sit in the crowd where she belongs. Scarlett wants it to be known that the Smoke Show is here to make wrestling sexy again. She licks the mic quite suggestively, tells them to hit her music, and proceeds to do a little sexy dance before leaving.
We see a video package of Matt Sydal talking about his loss to Brian Cage this past weekend, and says the belt is a material object that he lost, but he didn’t lose what’s behind his third eye. He had a bad night at Slammiversary, and sometimes that happens in the natural world. He is confident nature will return things to their natural state when he faces Cage tonight, namaste.
Johnny Impact is backstage, and he’s…SITTING ON A MOTORCYCLE!
Pentagon cuts a mystical promo talking about how Sami Callihan took him to the limit, but he took Sami’s horrible hair (his words).
Trevor Lee vs Johnny Impact
Impact maneuvers his way around Trevor to start the match, controlling him with the arm. Caleb Konley distracts from the outside, and Trevor blindsides Impact and covers for 2. Impact tries doing that parkour stuff, but Trevor dropkicks him to the floor, then quickly tosses him back in and covers for 2. Caleb chokes Impact while Trevor distracts the referee, then Lee goes back to putting the boots to him. Impact catches Lee with a springboard crossbody, then they trade right hands in the middle of the ring. Impact dropkicks Lee into the corner, then hits a springboard enziguiri for 2. Impact goes to the top for Starship Pain, but Caleb distracts him just long enough that Impact misses it, and Lee quickly hits the flying double stomp for 2. Lee tries a German suplex, but Impact lands on his feet and drills Lee with a running punt, then goes for Starship Pain, but Lee rolls to the floor. Impact takes both Lee and Konley out with a flippy thing to the floor instead. Back into the ring, where Impact hits Starship Pain for the win.
Winner: Johnny Impact
Very competitive match, Trevor Lee looked great here even though the focus was on Impact. Impact says it feels great to be back in Impact Wrestling, but he always said his goal was to be the Impact World Champion, but there’s some business he needs to take care of first. He left because of the beating he took from Kongo Kong, and he watched from home and saw and heard all that Jimmy Jacobs had to say about him, and he’s ready to take them to Slamtown.
Brian Cage is backstage, and he’s…PREPPING!
We see a video package of the Knockouts Title match from Slammiversary, then we go to Alicia with Allie, who feels responsible for what happened to both Rosemary and Madison Rayne. She is making a promise right now that she will stop Su Yung, even if she has to go it alone. Kiera Hogan comes in and says that she has Allie’s back, and they can go after Su together. Allie tells Su that her time has come.
The Global Wrestling Network takes us back to a Motor City Machine Guns vs Generation Me match from a PPV several years ago.
Grado is backstage with his entourage, and Eli Drake comes in and says he wants to make up and let bygones be bygones. He got them a little gift and wants them to open it up, so he hands it to Grado and leaves. Grado opens it and finds a picture of…Katarina and Joe Hendry. Katarina is furious at this, and Hendry takes it to go throw it in the bin. I guess that’s what English people use instead of garbage cans.
KM is backstage telling Fallah Bahh that he’s a no good SOB. Bahh is shocked at this, but KM says Bahh needs to find his mean streak if they’re going to beat the Desi Arnaz Hit Squad. He puts sunglasses on Bahh and says that’s his first step, then steals a bystander’s cell phone, throws it down the front of Bahh’s tights, then throws another random bystander in the garbage. Now that Bahh sees how it’s done, he says we need to see his mean streak next week.
Video package hyping Killer Kross, then we go to the OGz in their clubhouse. Kingston says we would think he’d be happy right now, but he’s actually angry because he expected more out of Konnan and the young boys, LAX. He expected them to understand the rules of the game, and they thought they won the war, and you can win a million battles, but you need to win the war. They started celebrating, and just like he said he would do, he went in there, crucified Konnan, and gave him what he had coming. You reap what you sow, but the OGz don’t sow, they reap. They have the belts and they have the OGz tag on it, and once you tag something, you own it. LAX 5150 is dead. OGz 730 is on now.
We go to the oVe cam, which finds Sami Callihan in the men’s room asking his reflection how he could let this happen to him (referring to his hair). Jake Crist tries to console him by saying, “Well, at least you don’t look like an a-hole anymore.” Sami walks across the room to take a leak, tells the guy standing next to him to stop staring at him, then pees on his leg while asking him if he’s pretty. He has the Crists grab the guy (not even giving him the chance to “close up shop”) and hold him so Sami can shave his head. Okay, I’m pretty sure what I just watched would land pretty much everyone involved in jail, but whatever.
Moving right along, it’s…MAIN EVENT TIME!
X Division Title Match: Brian Cage vs Matt Sydal
Sydal tries to use his speed to outmaneuver Cage, and gets a quick small package for 2. Cage ripes his head off with a European uppercut, then they go to the floor where Cage goes for a suplex on the apron, Sydal lands on his feet and tries a running Meteora, but Cage catches Sydal and powerbombs him onto the ringpost as we go to commercial.
We come back just as Sydal lays Cage out on the entry ramp, then they go back into the ring where Sydal goes for a Muta Lock. Cage powers out, and a cradle by Sydal only gets 1. Cage makes me jump out of my seat by hitting a flying headscissors on Sydal, followed by a hard clothesline and a spinning DVD for 2. Cage goes for a running powerslam, but Sydal slips out and hits the stepover legdrop for 2. Sydal comes off the top with Shadows Over Hell for 2. Sydal unloads some kicks at Cage’s knee, but Cage catches his foot and hits a dragon screw legwhip, the a backdrop suplex dumps Sydal on his head, and Cage follows up with a 619 for 2. Sydal slips out of a pump handle something and kicks Cage in the face, then he goes for Chemical Imbalance II, but Cage escapes, goes for a powerbomb, and Sydal counters that to a Frankensteiner into a double leg cradle for 2. Cage hits an F5 and covers for 2. Sydal with a series of high kneestrikes, but then Cage turns Sydal inside out with a hard clothesline, and the Drill Claw finishes it.
Winner: Brian Cage
Wow, I hope Sydal’s yoga makes him flexible enough to make that last series of moves hurt a hell of a lot less than they look like they did. Great main event, and Cage is the man.
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