LAX jumps the champs in the aisle during their entrance, and brutalize them at ringside, with Ortiz ramming DJ Z into the ring steps while Santana works Everett over with hard chops against the barricade. They finally head into the ring, and Everett quickly goes right back to the outside with a dive onto Ortiz, then DJ Z dumps Santana to the floor and takes him out with a dive as well. Back into the ring where the champs isolate Santana in their half of the ring, but Ortiz blind tags into the ring and LAX hits a double team backbreaker on Everett for 2. Now Everett is caught in the wrong part of town, and LAX double teams him with fluid tags and tandem offense. Everett finally gets to his corner for the hot tag, and DJ Z immediately comes in with a top rope crossbody to both men, then hits a springboard double back elbow to both Santana and Ortiz. They block the double ZDT, and immediately shut him down with a double back suplex. LAX misses a double team, and the champs plant Santana with a double X-Factor for 2 as we go to commercial.
All heck is breaking loose as we come back, with all four men going at it in the ring. LAX gets the advantage and hits a double team Ace Crusher on DJ Z for 2, but then DJ Z hits a tornado DDT on Santana, powerslams Ortiz, Everett hits a running shooting star press, then each man hits a moonsault on Ortiz for 2. Don Callis name drops his friends the Young Bucks without mentioning they basically just hit More Bang For Your Buck, but we don’t have time to dwell on that since Santana pulls DJ Z out to the floor and superkicks him, then Ortiz rolls out of the way of a flippy something. LAX hits the Street Sweeper, and we have new champions!
Winners and NEW World Tag Team Champions: LAX
Eddie Kingston jumps into the ring to celebrate with the new champions, who are back on top after a hard fought title win. Good match to open the show.
We go to Josh and Don, as they talk about stuff. We then go to Jimmy Jacobs with Kongo Kong, and Jimmy says that last week, he wanted to prove that the unbeatable Brian Cage was beatable, and the machine is no match for his monster.
We see a video package of the history between KM and Fallah Bahh, then KM comes out and says he taught him to exercise, eat and dress well, and even how to talk to women instead of the creatures he usually talks to. KM says he’s bigger than Impact Wrestling, and they need to rename the company to KMpact Wrestling, because this is all about him, and he was trying to also make it all about him, but Bahh is to thickheaded. Call it tough love, but he needs KM to come on down, step into the ring, and face the music mano y mano. Josh says, “haven’t we had enough name changes?” as Bahh comes out to the ring to stand face-to-face with KM. KM reaches down the front of his tights and retrieves a note, which he hands to KM before walking off. KM opens the note and reads it for our benefit: “KM, you say you friend Bahh, but you still act bully. Bahh. You need to grow (with an arrow pointing up). Bahh. You no fight I. Bahh. You fight wrestler stand by Bahh, yes or no no no?” KM realizes that Bahh won’t wrestler him, but there’s a wrestler on standby, and gee, KM wonders if it’s Richard Justice. KM says for the standby wrestler to get his fat ass down here, and he’ll make it quick. To KM’s dismay, the sirens hit, and here comes KM’s buddy…
KM vs Scott Steiner
KM jumps Steiner as he gets into the ring, but Steiner ducks a clothesline and launches KM over his head with a release belly-to-belly suplex. KM rolls to the floor, but Steiner goes after him and nearly rams him through the ring steps. Steiner rolls KM back into the ring, and KM begs for mercy. He obviously doesn’t know who he’s talking to, because Steiner takes his hand…and kicks him in the midsection before tossing him with another suplex. Steiner with hard shots in the corner, then a belly-to-belly suplex gets 2. KM catches Steiner with a back elbow and goes to the top, but Steiner is up and nails him, then hits a hanging Flatliner. Steiner gets the Recliner right in the middle of the ring, and KM wastes no time tapping out.
Winner: Scott Steiner
Pretty much a squash win for Steiner, who flexes and still, at his age, has insane biceps.
We see clips from the Slammiversary press conference, where Austin Aries announces he’s merging the World and Grand Championships. Aries says all Moose has on his resume is that he’s an ex-NFL player, but Aries has been X Division Champion six times, World Tag Team Champion, World Champion, and that’s because he’s been doing it for 18 years, it’s not his second career after he failed at his first.
Josh and Don send us to a video of Eddie Edwards going home to find himself. We go to Boston, where Eddie speeds up to his house, runs over his garbage pail, and then starts banging on the door and yelling for his wife to open the door. He finally starts ramming into the door until it breaks open (this is about the point where I’d call the cops if I was their neighbor), then we see inside that Alisha not only isn’t home, but has moved all their stuff out as well because every room is completely empty. Eddie flips out and starts throwing leftover paint cans around before looking into a mirror and seeing…SAMI CALLIHAN. He starts having flashbacks to everything that’s gone down and all the times his wife yelled at him, and he picks up a pipe that for some reason was laying in the corner of the room, throws it at the mirror and shatters it, then starts screaming as he kicks what’s left of the mirror, then picks the pipe up and throws it at the wall where the mirror used to be before pounding on the walls while screaming some more. They must be that neighbor we all have who has the cops showing up at their place at least once a month.
We go to the oVe Cam, and Sami says he’s tired of people sticking their nose into oVe business, so here’s what we’re going to do: since Pentagon had to stick his mask-wearing Mexican (derriere) into their business, his boys are going to battle.
Taya Valkyrie vs Madison Rayne
Josh congratulates Taya on her recent marriage to Johnny Impact as she takes Madison to the mat, then Josh mentions that Madison’s daughter is watching even though it’s past her bedtime. We see a picture-in-picture of Su Yung watching from the rafters as Taya takes Madison down and hits shotgun knees to her back. Taya tosses Madison across the ring by the hair, then hits a backbreaker into a powerslam for 2. Madison catches Taya with a tornado DDT, then starts her fiery babyface comeback. Madison hits a ripcord cutter for 2, Taya blocks a flying headscissors and counters to a backbreaker, then says something that gets bleeped before crushing her with a charging corner clothesline. Taya with a corner butt splash, then a charging double kneestrike for 2. Madison gets a rollup for 2, but Taya quickly shuts that down and hits a curb stomp for 2. Madison hits Rolling the Dice out of nowhere on Taya and gets the win.
Winner: Madison Rayne
Another win for Madison, who it looks like they’re setting up for a title match at Slammiversary. Madison gets a mic after the match and says it’s always fun to come home to the Impact Zone, but she came here this time with no intentions of being an in-ring competitor, but everything happens for a reason, and she’s been creating career moments with some of the toughest women she’s ever been in the ring with. She reveals that Impact management told her earlier today that if she beat Taya, she’d get an opportunity, and she wants to share that moment with everyone, especially the fans who have followed her journey for all these years. Madison announces that at Slammiversary, she is going to slay the Undead Bride and become a six-time champion. Suddenly the lights go down, and crazy laughter fills the arena…then it stops and the lights go back to normal. Madison looks around wondering what that was, and cautiously walks to the back.
Back to the LAX clubhouse, where they’re celebrating the title win earlier tonight. Kingston takes selfies with everyone when suddenly…KONNAN RETURNS. He looks serious and tells Kingston that they need to talk. What’s that all about?
We come back from commercial, and everybody leaves so Konnan and Kingston can chat alone. Kingston offers Konnan a seat, but Konnan says he’s backed up and is happy to stand. Konnan says some things don’t add up, and he asks if he has any idea who did this. Kingston says he has all five boroughs trying to figure it out, then Konnan asks where Homicide is. Kingston says he’s around, and Konnan says that on the streets, not to trust anybody. Kingston asks if that means he’s a suspect, and Konnan says that sometimes Kingston’s ambitions outrun his brain. He tells Kingston that he better not find out Kingston had anything to do with this, because if he does, Kingston better get as far away from him as possible because he’ll make him pay. Kingston says they just won the tag title, and Konnan says he’s not in a celebratory mood, but to go party and they’ll catch up later. Kingston leaves, and Konnan looks furiously after him.
We see an interview with Killer Kross, the hitman who has been attacking everybody. He says fear is a funny thing, and there’s a difference between courage and intelligence. Everyone wanted to know why, and the answer is simply “why not?” That’s not enough for some people, and Kross says there’s no continuity in this universe, just mayhem. He wants to turn this place upside down, divebomb it, and see where the pieces fall, and find a new beginning.
The Desi Hit Squad is coming to Impact Wrestling! And speaking of Indians, the Global Wrestling Network takes us back to last year’s India tour when Sonjay Dutt defeated Low Ki for the X Division Title.
And with that, it’s…MAIN EVENT TIME!
oVe vs Pentagon Jr & Phantasma Jr
Phantasma and Dave start us off, and Phantasma works him over so bad that Sami feels it on the outside. Pentagon tags in and comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick to the ding ding, then the luchadores go to town on Jake. They dump him to the floor and Phantasma wipes him out with a dive while Pentagon goes and beats up Dave on the other side of the ring. Phantasma sends Jake back into the ring, but Sami clips his knee with the bat as he comes back in, and Jake goes right to work on the knee with a half crab. Phantasma is in deep trouble as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and Phantasma is still getting worked over in the oVe half of the ring. Phantasma almost gets to his corner, but Jake knocks Pentagon off the apron and goes back to the knee. Phantasma finally lays Jake out and makes the hot tag, and Pentagon comes in to clean house on the Crist brothers. oVe tries for a tandem Tombstone on Pentagon, but Phantasma is back in and breaks that up. Pentagon gets dumped to the floor and oVe hits a superplex/powerbomb combo on Phantasma. Pentagon is back in and outmaneuvers the Crists, tossing them into each other before superkicking Jake into next week and hitting the Pentagon Driver for the win.
Winners: Pentagon Jr & Phantasma Jr
Sami Callihan runs in and attacks Pentagon after the match, lays Phantasma out with the bat, then gets kicked in the ding ding by Pentagon, who proceeds to try and break Jake’s arm before Sami gets up and lays Pentagon out with the bat. The Crists hold Pentagon for more bat shots, then Sami tears Pentagon’s mask open, exposing part of his face before Phantasma finally recovers and chases oVe off with a chair. Phantasma checks on Pentagon as oVe hightails it up the ramp, and we call it a night.
LATEST NEWS var numposts = 5;var showpostthumbnails = true;var displaymore = false;var displayseparator = true;var showcommentnum = false;var showpostdate = false;var showpostsummary = true;var numchars = 100;