We see a video package running down tonight’s top matches, then we head to the ring for our opening match…
Grado comes down the aisle to open the show, and we see a video during Grado’s entrance flashing back to last week when Crazy Eddie Edwards tried to kill Sami Callihan in the woods and then laid Tommy Dreamer out. Speaking of Eddie, he runs into the ring while Grado is doggy grinding Winter and lays him out with a kendo stick. Geez, there’s some times you REALLY don’t want to be interrupted. Eddie points the stick at Winter and tells her to get out of the ring now, and she smartly complies. Eddie gets a mic and says he was about to kill Sami once and for all when Tommy Dreamer stuck his nose into his business, and he’s going to expose Tommy for the fraud he really is, and tells him to get his “fat ass” out there now. His words, not mine. Tommy comes out and tries to calm Eddie, but Eddie says he’s not going anywhere until he does what he needs to do. Tommy says he stopped Eddie from making the biggest mistake of his life, and Eddie says Dreamer knows what it’s like, and Dreamer knows what it’s like to see his friends who can’t wrestle anymore when they’re knocking on 50 because of what they did to themselves, and they didn’t know about concussions and things back then. He tells Eddie to move on because he has all the talent in the world, but he wants to keep being bloodthirsty and end a man. Eddie said he was ready to ride off into the sunset, but now he hasn’t spoken to his wife in a week. Tommy says he knows, and Eddie gets in his face and asks how he knows that. He backs Tommy into a corner and tells him not to talk to his wife, and Tommy shoves him on his butt. Eddie has a breakdown and bangs his head on the mat, and Tommy tries to get him to calm down. It seems to work, because Eddie calmly gets to his feed and cracks the kendo stick over Tommy’s head. Eddie looks torn as he walks to the back, trying to explain to Tommy that he made him do it.
Scott D’Amore tries to calm Tommy Dreamer down backstage, but Dreamer can’t believe this after everything he’s done for the company, and he’s done.
We go to Josh and Don as they talk about stuff, then send us to the ring for our next match…
Rebel vs Taya Valkyrie
Josh actually brings up Rebel’s history as a part of the Menagerie during her entrance. I would have lost my mind if he name dropped Knux, the Freak, and Crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy Steve. They trade wristlocks and takedowns, then Taya counters a sunset flip with a double stomp to the chest. We see Su Yung staggering around backstage with the belt as Taya hits a corner avalanche on Rebel. Taya catches Rebel’s foot on a kick and…well, kicks her where I would normally call the ding ding, and hits a bunch of kicks for a 2 count. Rebel does a split on a drop down and makes a comeback with some dropkicks and a running knee, but doesn’t go for a cover, instead playing to the fans before doing a split to drop on top of Taya for 2. Rebel goes to the second rope for a moonsault, but misses and then eats a spear from Taya. Taya hits Road to Valhalla and easily pins Rebel for the win.
Winner: Taya Valkyrie
Rebel’s come a long way from those early Menagerie days Josh mentioned. Taya gets a mic after the match and asks the fans to put their hands together and give Madison Rayne a round of applause for returning to the Impact Zone. It’s been a long time since she’s been here, and things are a little different now because it’s her kingdom. Next week, she’s going to show everyone that she’s not just lucha royalty, but Knockout royalty as well.
The Global Wrestling Network takes us about 12 or 13 years back in time to AJ Styles beating Christopher Daniels and Samoa Joe in what’s often considered the greatest match in TNA history for the X Division Title.
Speaking of the X Division Title, the current champion is with McKenzie, who says everyone thinks Brian Cage is unbeatable, but he sees the strength on the outside is a facade, but he has inner weakness. He can show him how to build true inner strength, and his path is the path to enlightenment, and when you follow that path, the universe comspires in your favor.
Tessa Blanchard is backstage, and she’s…SCOWLING!
We go to oVeTV, where a badly bruised Sami says he bets we didn’t expect to see him this week, and Eddie thought he was going to finish this, but now he is losing everything, and tonight, his best friend Jake Crist is going to beat El Hijo Del Phantasma because THAT’S WHAT THEY DO.
Cult Of Lee vs KM & Fallah Bahh
Josh claims that Fallah has lost 100 pounds since getting with KM. Bahh and Trevor start us off, and Bahh completely overpowers Lee. Then he overpowers Konley. Then both Lee and Konley get tossed around by him. Bahh does a steamroller across both men, then KM does the same, then they each do another for good measure. Konley thumbs Bahh in the eye, and while blinded, he hits a Samoan Drop on KM, allowing Konley to slip in and pin KM.
Winners: Cult of Lee
This was a lot of fun, but Bahh feels terrible about what happened. KM yells at him and asks him what the hell that was, then shoves Bahh on his butt and yells something that gets bleeped out. He says he’s done, and walks off while screaming red faced at Bahh.
We see a video package hyping tonight’s Moose-Eli Drake match, and we’re at commercial.
We go to the LAX clubhouse, where life is good, but Kingston wants to keep it real because next week, they get a shot at the tag title. Kingston wants to do shots to celebrate, and Diamonte isn’t quite sure about it at first, but takes the glass of tequila and downs it in one shot, calling them all lightweights. Everyone leaves except Kingston, who sits in Konnan’s chair, kicks his feet up on the table, and says the world is his.
#1 Contender Match: Moose vs Eli Drake
This match comes from House of Hardcore in Philadelphia, and Drake jumps Moose before the bell, but Moose quickly turns that around, then they go to the floor where Moose continues the assault and rams Drake into the barricade. Moose giant swings Drake back and forth into the barricades, but Drake pops Moose up and hits a death valley driver on the apron out of nowhere. Moose unloads with a series of Kobashi chops, but then Drake pops Moose up again for a powerslam and hits a corkscrew elbowdrop for 2. We clip forward to Moose making his basbyface comeback, driving Drake into the corner and hitting the delayed dropkick. Moose hits the Sky High for 2. Moose goes for a bicycle kick, but Drake catches and counters to a blue thunder driver for 2. Drake hits Blunt Force Trauma, but then runs right into a roaring clothesline, and both men are down. Moose avoids a Lionsault, but then misses a corner charge and hits the post. Drake with a torture rack into a neckbreaker for 2. Drake puts Moose on the top rope and hits a superplex for 2. Drake goes for the Gravy Train, Moose counters to a cradle for 2, then hits a spear and covers Drake for 3.
Moose is now the mandatory challenger for the World Title at Slammiversary. Good match.
No DQ Match: Tessa Blanchard vs Kiera Hogan
Hogan goes right after Tessa on the floor during entrances, and just UNLOADS on her around ringside, up the ramp, and back into the ring where she hits a charging butt splash in the corner. Tessa rolls out to the floor but eats a baseball slide from Kiera, who follows that up with a flying headscissors to the floor. Kiera gets overzealous, and Tessa gives her a flapjack on the ramp, then rolls her into the ring and unloads with another big boot for 2. Tessa with a series of short clotheslines and a backdrop suplex into the corner, then covers for 2. Kiera mounts a comeback, hammering Tessa with forearms, Tessa gets a knee to the midsection and brings a chair into the ring, Kiera fights back, but Tessa hits a hammerlock DDT for 2. Tessa chokes Kiera with her boot, and the ref pulls her off, so Tessa shoves him on his butt and asks what he’s going to do, disqualify her? She takes WAY too long with this distraction, allowing Kiera to get the chair and LAUNCH it into Tessa’s face. Now Kiera is a woman possessed, unloading with a flurry of offense and a superkick to Tessa’s face. Tessa gets the chair, but Kiera kicks it out of her hand and boots her in the face again before bulldogging her onto the chair. Kiera covers Tessa for 2, then sets up the chair in the middle of the ring, but Tessa hits a flatliner onto the chair for the win.
Winner: Tessa Blanchard
Great match! Tessa is awesome, and Kiera brought it as well. Good stuff.
Phantasma Jr is backstage, and he’s…WARMING UP! He faces Jake Crist…NEXT!!!
We see a video package looking at the Red X Attackers, then we go to Josh and Don to talk about it and other stuff.
Jake Crist vs Phantasma Jr
Jake drills Phantasma with a running boot before the bell, then works him over in the corner with crossfaces and shoulderblocks to the ribs. Jake distracts the referee while Dave chokes Phantasma from the floor, then Jake unloads with some chops and a snap suplex for 2. Phantasma mounts a comeback and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, but a distraction from Dave allows Jake to hit like three or four superkicks for a 2 count. Jake spends too much time shouting “EVERYTHING!” at the crowd, allowing Phantasma to roll him up for the win.
Winner: Phantasma Jr
Dave attacks Phantasma after the match, but Phantasma lays him out and goes back after Jake when Sami Callihan runs in and lays him out with his baseball bat. Sami goes to take the mask off when the lights go down and…HERE COMES PENTAGON JR! He quickly clears the Crists out and then goes face-to-face with Sami, who heads for the hills rather than tangle with the former World Champion. Makes sense since all three of oVe are supposed to have been worked over by Eddie Edwards.
And with that…IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME!
X Division Title Match: Matt Sydal vs Brian Cage
Sydal uses his speed to keep out of Cage’s grasp, but Cage just drills Sydal with a back elbow that sends him to the floor. Sydal grabs the ankle to try and drag him to the floor, but not only does Cage not budge, but Cage uses his ankle to haul Sydal back into the ring. Sydal lays Cage out with a leglariat and hits the standing shooting star press, but Cage just stands up with Sydal in his arms, curls him a few times, then hits a fallaway slam. Charging clothesline in the corner, then a series of corner clotheslines put Sydal on dream street when suddenly, Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong come out of the back to observe. The distraction allows Sydal to hit a spinkick, a high knee, and a charging basement dropkick in the corner. Sydal gets a weird sort of leg choke on Cage, who easily powers out. Sydal with some kicks to Cage and then drills him with an axe kick. Cage is not amused, tossing Sydal into the corner by the throat, catching his boot on a kick, and hitting a cradle suplex that launches Sydal out to the apron. Cage goes to the second rope and superplexes Sydal from the apron into the ring and covers for 2. Cage blocks a kick, Sydal ducks a roaring clothesline and tries a flying headscissors, but Cage holds on, hoists Sydal up, and powerbombs him HARD into the corner. Sydal rolls to the floor where Jacobs comes to check on him, but Cage comes over to back him off, instead finding himself confronted by Kong. Cage press slams Sydal back into the ring, but Kong comes up from behind and rams Cage into the steps while the ref’s back is turned. The ref turns back and makes the countout.
Winner by Countout: Matt Sydal
BOOOO! Fun match while it lasted.
Petey Williams is backstage standing over Fallah Bahh with a red X in his hand, and Sonjay Dutt comes over to once again accuse him of being behind the attacks. He has Petey arrested, and Petey screams at Sonjay for having him arrested even though he knows him, and knows his wife and kids. The cop hauls Petey just out of range of everyone else and then tells Petey he’s under arrest for the crime he SHOULD have committed, then proceeds to beat the PEE PEE out of Petey before choking him unconscious with his nightstick. This guy is huge, by the way, and he takes his shirt off to reveal a heavily tattooed back before throwing a card with a red X on Petey and turning to the camerman to say that someone should call the police.