Thursday, April 26, 2018

Impact Wrestling Results - April 26, 2018

Impact Wrestling Results - April 26, 2018
We start with a video package looking back at the events of this past weekend's Redemption PPV, then we see a promo after the show of Austin Aries addressing the fans and saying that he's not going to go and make a bunch of excuses, then proceeds to make like three or four excuses for why he los.  He still considers himself the World Champion, but Moose doesn't appreciate the pep talk and tells Aries to go screw himself.  Moose leaves, and the rest of the locker room follows him as Aries says everyone can leave now, and to check out catering because he hears there's some good vegan options there.

We then head to the arena for our opening match, as our announce team of Josh Mathews and Don Callis throw us to the ring for our opening match...

Trevor Lee vs Brian Cage

Lee tries a bunch of subterfuge, but can't overcome Cage's power and gets shoulder tackled to the floor.  Cage tosses Lee around when he gets back in, hits a leaping enziguiri, picks Lee up and curls him a few times, then hits a fallaway slam.  A distraction from Caleb Konley allows Lee to bite Cage's hand and dropkick him into a double stomp on the apron.  Lee hits a running punt, but Cage won't go down, so Lee rolls him back inside and hits a bridging German suplex for 2.  Cage suddenly starts no-selling, plows Lee into the corner, hits a series of corner clotheslines, and plants him in the mat with an inverted Samoan drop.  Cage with a powerslam, but gets distracted again by Konley and gives Lee a chance to roll away from his springboard moonsault.  Cage takes Konley out with a roaring clothesline, then second rope deadlift suplexes Lee into the ring.  Drill Claw finishes it.

Winner: Brian Cage

Another great showing by Cage, nothing more to say than that.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the arena, and Tommy Dreamer tries getting him to go back to the hospital with his wife, but Eddie says he needs to be here and blows past him.

We go to the announcers, and Callis says you know you've gone too far when Tommy Dreamer tells you to calm down, but they're interrupted by Edwards coming out to the ring with a look of violence in his eyes.  He says he put Sami Callihan in the hopsital where he belongs, but his job still isn't done because the Crists aren't in the hospital...not yet.  He's going to stay right in the ring where he is, and if oVe doesn't have the balls to come out here right now, he's going to get in a car, drive to Dayton, and put both of their wives in the ICU.  WOW!  The Crists run down the ramp and Eddie takes them both out with stereo dives, beats them up a bit, then goes back into the ring and hits another dive.  Eddie dumps Jake into the ring and attacks him, but Dave is up and runs in, and now the Crists work Eddie over 2-on-1.  Eddie sends Dave into the ringpost and rips Jake's head off with a clothesline, then goes under the ring and retrieves...A KENDO STICK!  Before he can use it to deal out deadly damage to the Crists, we see some kind of Silent Hill hospital-style video of Sami Callihan, with his face covered by balloons, wheel himself into Alicia Edwards' room with a bouquet of flowers in his lap.  Apparently as the only person who doesn't realize who that is, she helpfully informs him that this isn't his room.  Sami pulls out a pair of scissors, uses them to cut the balloons away, and reveals his still-bloody and beaten face.  We see Eddie tearing back up the ramp as Alicia says Sami has to be kidding, and Sami says he'd like to talk.

We see a video package of Pentagon Jr winning the World Title this past weekend, then the Global Wrestling Network takes us back to Scott Steiner fighting the Dudleyz at Slammiversary 2007.

We see a video package of DJ Z talking about when he hurt his back in Mexico, got treated and released by the hospital there, and promptly passed out when he got back to the hotel.  They took him to a different hospital, and they discovered that he was bleeding internally, and he wasn't sure if he'd ever wrestle again,  He made it back at Redemption after a year away, and his career should have ended in Mexico, and the only reason he can think of why he's still here is that there's something left for him to accomplish here.

Braxton Sutter vs Moose

Sutter comes to the ring and has something to say, but they cut the mic for Moose's intro.  Sutter slaps Moose in the face, and that gets him tossed into the corner and hammered with chops.  Sutter tries going to the second rope, and Moose dropkicks him to the floor.  Sutter rams Moose into the steps and then dishes out more damage back in the ring...but that doesn't last very long at all.  Moose ragdolls Sutter into the corner, hits a couple of corner clotheslines, and hits a delayed corner dropkick.  Moose with a spear and that's all she wrote.

Winner: Moose

Sutter already announced his departure from the company, and I'm not sure if this is where he wraps up, but I'm gonna miss having the guy because he worked his butt off every time out no matter what dumb storyline they stuck him in.  Moose gets a mic as the fans wish him a happy birthday, and he wants to be the first to congratulate Pentagon, but he wants to get something 100% straight: Pentagon might be the champion, but he's Mr. Impact Wrestling, and he's the guy who's gonna take that title from him.

McKenzie is backstage with Matt Sydal, who says his spiritual advisor told him to open his third eye and believe in himself, and he's ready for Taiji Ishimori next week.  The promo is interrupted by yelling from an apparent attack, as someone I couldn't quite make out was laying on the ground with a red piece of paper with a circle X on his chest.

We're off to the LAX clubhouse, where Ortiz and Santana are by themselves and fretting over everything falling apart.  Santana wants to know where Homicide is, and says they need contact with everybody.  Ortiz wants to focus on getting the title back, but Santana is losing his mind over Konnan disappearing and losing the titles.  Ortiz says they can figure it out after they win the titles, then they can figure out what's next.

Knockouts Title Match: Allie vs Taya Valkyrie

Taya nearly plows through Allie with a spear before the bell, then tosses her across the ring by the hair a few times.  Taya hits a double legdrop onto...well, onto Allie's secret entrance, then dishes out some chops in the corner.  Taya is just brutalizing Allie at this point, but Allie suddenly hits a flatliner into the corner and tries to follow up with a dropkick, but Taya sidesteps and lays Allie out again.  Allie yanks Taya down by the hair and hits a series of clotheslines, then a Canadian legsweep gets 2.  Taya hits a backdrop suplex for 2, shrieks something at the crowd, then goes for the Road to Valhalla, but Allie slips out somewhere around Bronxville and hits a Codebreaker for the win.

Winner: Allie

Okay match, but we don't have time to dwell on it because HERE COMES SU YUNG!  Her entire parade of dead brides carry a coffin down to ringside and then leave.  Allie stands there staring uneasily at the coffin, hsitantly approaches it...and the lights go out.  They come back up and...SU YUNG IS IN THE RING!  She hangs Allie on the second rope and hits a hanging Pedigree.  Su drags Allie out of the ring by the hair, the lights go out again, and when they come back up...ROSEMARY IS IN THE RING!  This should be fun.  They make angry faces at each other, but the lights go out AGAIN, and this time when they come back up...Su Yung is gone.  Rosemary looks around for her, then goes to check on Allie as we go to commercial.

KM finds Fallah Bahh backstage and asks for him to hear him out.  He says there's not a lot of things he regrets since coming here to Impact, it's fat shaming him.  It's okay to be fat, and he's going to stand right by him.  Fallah says NONONO, but KM says he's changed his ways and will prove it because they have a tag match together next week.

We go to Silent Hill Hospital, where Eddie runs through the suspiciously empty hallways and into Alicia's room yelling and screaming and asking where he is.  Geez, Eddie, she's trying to sleep.  She says Sami just wanted to talk and asked why he left her alone, but Eddie is too busy trying to kill Sami to protect his wife, so he runs out into the hallway, roughs up some of the medical staff, then jumps on Sami in his hospital bed, with the IV still attached to him, and proceeds to beat him senseless and tear up the room until doctors run in to break it up.  This is CLASSIC bad TNA stuff.  LOVE IT.

We come back from commercial, and Josh and Don actually have the spooky music playing in the background as they talk about what just happened.  They talk about what's going to be on next week's show, then we head back to the ring for...

World Tag Team Title Match: Eli Drake & Scott Steiner vs LAX

Scott Steiner gets a mic and asks if when he said they were going to win the title, people shouldn't believe him.  Last night, during his match he was tracking #6 worldwide because he's WORLD FAMOUS, B****.  Everyone's wondering where Konnan is, and Scott says they had a sale at Taco Bell, and he showed where his priorities were.  He tells LAX that if they want a shot at the belt and take on the man with the largest arms and shortest fuse again, they can bring their (butts) out here.  Scott hands Eli the mic, but Eli simply sets it down, knowing he won't be able to follow that up.

LAX immediately takes control on Drake with a fast series of double team moves.  Eli counters a flippy thing to send Santana to the floor, and Steiner rams him into the ring steps as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Ortiz is still in trouble in the wrong side of the ring.  Steiner with a series of suplexes on Santana, including a top rope belly to belly that nearly killed both of them.  Santana makes a hot tag and Ortiz comes in and cleans house on Drake.  Santana big boots Steiner to the floor, then takes him out with a dive.  Ortiz hits a death valley driver on Drake for 2.  They go for the Street Sweeper, Steiner tries to stop Santana, but gets kicked off to the floor.  Santana leaps, Eli catches him in midair and counters to a powerslam, and Steiner drags Ortiz to the floor as Drake gets the three count.

Winners: Eli Drake & Scott Steiner

Great finish to a surprisingly good match.  Drake gets a mic afterward and says they told them this wasn't a fluke.  These titles go nowhere, because the greatest tag team wrestler of all time, Scott Steiner, and flanking him, the Big Bad Gravy Daddy.  He's still got that briefcase, and that grants him the right, anytime he wants it, and it might be just about time to cash in his case for the World Title.  Austin Aries comes out with his arm in a sling and his remaining titles draped over his good arm.  We'll find out what he wants when we come back from commercial.

Steiner helps Aries into the ring as he complains about his still injured arm.  He still sees Eli has that briefcase, and he tells the fans who chanted his name that he wishes they were there at Redemption.  Aries says Eli has a World Title shot, but he has the belt, so Eli should want to face him.  He knows he won't because Aries beat Drake every time they wrestled, and whether it's Drake or Pentagon, that title is coming back around his waist.  Drake tells the dummies to quiet down, and he wants to know who lost their belt and who won a belt at Redemption.  It doesn't matter who it is, whether it's Aries, Pentagon, or the Easter Bunny, the bottom line is that his briefcase will equal a World Title for him and a keyster kicking at someone else's door.  He wishes Aries the best luck in the world, and he wants Aries to win the title, because it's going to be the Gravy Train in the end.  Out comes Pentagon Jr with the current, official Impact World Title belt, and he says something to Drake in Spanish, then Drake and Steiner attack both Pentagon and Aries.  Pentagon tosses Drake and Steiner, then turns around to see Aries holding the belt.  Aries holds it out to him...but doesn't release it, and instead holds his title up at him.  They stare down with their belts as we call it a night.


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