Thursday, March 29, 2018

Impact Wrestling Results - March 29, 2018

Impact Wrestling Results - March 29, 2018
Matt Sydal and Josh Mathews bump into Austin Aries coming into the arena, make mention of the fact that they're all champions, and Aries says he knows a thing or two about the X Division Title. 

Sydal says he'd never give it up, but Aries says he created option C to create an opportunity, not to disrespect the X Division.  He'll give Sydal a title shot and won't even make him give up the X Division Title, but he won't do it for free: he wants a shot at the Grand Championship in return for giving Sydal a title shot.  Josh is aghast, and refuses to do it because it was a gift.

We head to the arena for our opening match...

Petey Williams vs Suicide vs Rohit Raju vs Taiji Ishimori

Suicide and Raju flippy dip to the outside, while Petey and Taiji flippy dip in the ring.  Ishimori goes to the floor and Raju comes in to do spots on Petey.  Suicide breaks up a fall, and now they...okay, look, this is another typical X Division schmozz where they just take turns doing spots.  They take turns doing dives to the floor, then they head back inside and trade pinning combinations, then they trade high impact finishers until Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer on Suicide for the win.

Winner: Petey Williams

It was an X Division spotfest.  Petey gets a mic after the match and says he wants to cash in his briefcase for a shot at Matt Sydal at Redemption.

McKenzie is backstage with Eli Drake, who says he could have been fired last week, and he should have gotten a World Title shot, but all he got was a tag title shot.  Greatness means nothing, but status does, and the one globally accepted currency is gold, and the tag title sounds great, but he doesn't have a tag partner or want one.  He's a one man show, and if he can't...actually, he just got an idea.  He walks out without explaining further.

We go to Josh and Sonjay in the control center, and they talk about the Imapct vs Lucha Underground show that's happening on Twitch next week, briefly mention EC3 being fired last week, and then putting over the debut of Su Yung later tonight.

Eddie Edwards is in Dayton, Ohio, and after oVe broke his face with a baseball bat, he decided that since they say it's Ohio vs Everything, he decided to take a trip to Ohio, and here he is.

Braxton Sutter comes out to introduce the newest Knockout forh er debut match...

Su Yung vs Amber Nova

Su jumps Amber before the bell and just pummels her on the ground.  Su hits a running kneestrike to the face, quickly hits the Panic Switch, and that's all she wrote.

Winner: Su Yung

Quick squash to intro our new Knockout monster.

McKenzie is backstage with Johnny Impact, who says his goal is still to become the World Champion here, but that's tough since everyone in the back has the same goal.  Jimmy Jacobs comes in and says that Johnny has no idea what his goals are, and he wonders what it must be like to be Johnny Impact, looking all gorgeous, with his six pack abs, but his bubble is about to get popped by the monster of reality.  Impact says reality is objective, and if he wants a match that's fine, but he wants to know what Jacobs wants.  Jimmy says he'll find out, because he's a princess and always gets what he wants.

We go backstage to see footage from the commercial break where Taya Valkyrie is laughing because she proved once again that she's better than Rosemary.  She brags about working rosemary over, and doesn't see Rosemary standing above her on a production trailer.  Rosemary finally yells at her, throws a trash can down onto her face, and attacks her.  Taya dodges a trash can shot that goes into a production stagehand, and Taya beats Rosemary up and rams her into all kinds of backstage implements and crates.  Richard Justice comes over to tell her to stop it, but Taya lays him out, so now Amber Nova comes over to intervene and gets her second ass kicking of the week.  Now some male wrestlers come out to separate them, and Rosemary dives onto all of them from the top of the trailer, then wipes her facepaint on Taya's face before laughing and staggering away.

We go to WrestlePro in Brooklyn for our next match...

KM vs Fallah Bahh

KM gets in Bahh's face to start, but Bahh lays him out and hits the steamroller.  Bahh tries a charge, but KM sidesteps and sends Bahh into the post, then hits a running neckbreaker.  KM with a slingshot splash for 2, then catches Bahh in a rear chinlock.  Bahh powers up and dumps KM with a Samoan drop, then flattens him with a crossbody.  He goes for a Banzai Drop, but KM rollup powerbombs him out of the corner and puts his feet on the ropes to catch a 3 count.

Winner: KM

KM gets a mic after the match and says KM ought to change his name from Fallah Bahh to FatAss Bahh.

Video package of Brian Cage and his recent history with Bobby Lashley.

Brian Cage vs Bobby Lashley

Well, this looks to be a lot of fun.  Lashley takes Cage to the corner, but breaks clean.  They stare each other down, then a quick back and forth ends with Lashley taking Cage's head off with a clothesline.  Cage no-sells a snap suplex, reverses a neckbreaker, and hits a Frankensteiner.  Lashley comes back with one of his own and a crossbody, then Cage clotheslines Lashley to the floor.  WOW!  Lashley hits a snap suplex for 2, then gets a rear chinlock.  Cage ducks a charge and backdrops Lashley to the apron, hits an enziguiri that knocks him to the floor, and follows out with a somersault dive.  YIPES!  They both slowly come back into the ring, Cage hits a series of kicks that lay Lashley out, and he goes to the top rope, but Lashley tosses him off the top and then hits a side suplex for 2.  Lashley with a series of shoulderblocks in the corner and then dumps Cage to the outside.  Lashley goes up for the ten punches in the corner, followed by a charging spear in the corner.  Cage suddenly catches Lashley with a springboard tornado DDT out of nowhere, then connects with a series of clotheslines and a spinebuster for 2.  Lashley comes back with a spinebuster of his own for 2, then Cage tries to leapfrog over but Lashley catches him and hits a running powerslam for 2.  Cage catches a powerslam, but misses a springboard moonsault.  Lashley hits the spear, but Cage rolls out to the floor.  Lashley quickly goes out and rolls him back in, but the break allowed Cage to kick out at 2.  Lashley stops to argue with the ref, but cage pops up and hits a roaring lariat for the win.

Winner: Brian Cage

This was an outstanding match!  Kudos to Lashley for giving Cage a huge rub on his way out.

Gail Kim, who retired, is still hanging around backstage putting her makeup on when Allie comes in for advice on how to handle this thing with Braxton Sutter.  Gail says she's the Knockouts Champion and to believe in herself and go get Su Yung.

We go to the control center where Josh and Sonjay talk about stuff, then they send us to the Global Wrestling Network for an Ultimate X match from a lot of years ago that was won by the current WWE Champion.

Eli Drake finds Moose and tries to persuade him to trade his World Title shot for his tag title shot, but Moose isn't feeling it.

Eddie Edwards storms into an indy show screaming that he wants Sami Callihan, and tosses over some tables and stuff and beats up some bystanders.  He comes through the crowd and attacks some fans on his way out before laying out the Crist brothers with a kendo stick.  Sami finally comes out and Eddie attacks him, but winds up on the receiving end of a 3-on-1 beating.  The Crists hold Eddie as Sami tries to use the bat, but Eddie fights them off, grabs the bat, and uses it to work over the Crists.  Sami comes in from behind and gouges Eddie's injured eye, then the Crists hold Eddie again as Sami bashes him in the face with the bat.  The Crists hit the double stomp/Tombstone combo, and now the locker room empties so the wrestlers can gawk at the scene in the ring as oVe leads a chant of "EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING!"

We come back from a commercial to a video of Sami on the oVe Cam asking Eddie what he thought would happen when he came onto their turf, then says that they have a point to prove and are taking over EVERYTHING.

We see a video package of Austin Aries saying he's known Matt Sydal for close to 15 years, and thinks he's starting to dabble a bit too much in the extracurriculars if he's hanging out with Josh Mathews.  Sydal says he has no fear and will face up to any challenge.

And with that, it's... MAIN EVENT TIME!

Title For Title: World Champion Austin Aries vs Grand Champion Matt Sydal

Sydal is, of course, also the X Division Champion, though that title isn't on the line.  Feeling out process to start, and we see Alberto backstage eating dinner and watching the match with a big smile on his face as they go to the mat.  Quick back and forth, Aries cartwheels past Sydal and gets a headlock, Sydal does the legscissors, but knows the dropkick is coming and dodges it.  Sydal tries a sunset flip, but Aries rolls through and dropkicks Sydal for 2 as we go to commercial.

Aries in control as he drops a big knee on Sydal's face, cover, two-count. Crowd seems to be mostly in support of Aries who climbs to the second rope and hits a diving forearm, pin, two. Sydal gets tossed all the way to the floor, Aries looks to fly and Sydal gets back in the ring and connects with a spinning heel kick. Sydal with a sliding knee, tries to cover, but Aries is right near the ropes to instantly stop the count.

Aries recovers, couple left hands, charges Sydal in the corner, gets kicked in the chest. Sydal tries for a springboard, Aries takes his legs out. Aries up top and drops a forearm on Sydal. Aries tries for a neckbreaker on the ropes, that's blocked, Sydal takes Aries out on the outside. Action back in the ring, back and forth strikes from both wrestlers. Aries tries for a discus lariat, nope, sliding german suplex by Sydal. Ax kick by Sydal. Kneebreaker/suplex combo by Aries. Sydal to the outside, Aries goes to fly - ref is distracted - Mathews grabs Aries' foot. Sydal attacks with a jumping knee, but Aries returns fire, cover, two.

Mathews stops Aries from hitting a death valley driver on the apron. Aries on the apron neckbreaker on the ropes. Mathews tries to distract Aries again and Petey Williams comes down to pull Mathews off the apron. Aries up on the top rope, no handed hurricanrana by Sydal. Sydal with a shooting star press, misses, Aries hits a brainbuster, cover, and we have a new Grand Champion.

Winner: Austin Aries to become the new Impact Grand Champion

Post-match, we see Alberto smiling while he continues eating. Aries celebrates in the ring with both of his titles.


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