Impact Wrestling Results – Dec 7, 2017

Alberto El Patron is backstage calling Eli Drake a paper champion, and he’s the reason he lost to Johnny Impact last week.  He’s going to find Drake tonight, destroy him, and get his revenge, and that will happen tonight.

We see a video package hyping tonight’s tag match featuring the in-ring debut of Dan Lambert, Ethan Carter III cutting a promo on Matt Sydal, and more between Alberto, Impact, and Drake, then we’re off to the giant barn for our opening match…

Taiji Ishimori vs Caleb Konley

Feeling out process to start, but Ishimori picks up the pace and dropkicks Konley to the floor.  Konley dodges a dive, but Ishimori catches himself in the ropes to avoid going splat.  Konley finally gets an advantage back in the ring after yanking Ishimori down to the mat by the hair, and covers for 2.  Konley blocks a flying headscissors, then hits a legsweep and senton for 2.  Konley ditches Ishimori to the floor where Trevor Lee works him over, but Ishimori gives Lee a shot and connects with a springboard dropkick to Konley.  Konley catches Ishimori with a Gory Driver for 2, then a sliding lariat and a deadlift into a spinning backfist, followed by a TKO…that Ishimori reverses to a deathdrop for 2.  Ishimori hits a 450 splash for the win.

Winner: Taiji Ishimori

Good opener. Trevor Lee runs in and attacks Ishimori after the bell, then orders Konley to get up and join in the beating.  Desmond Xavier runs in and fights the Cult of Lee off.

American Top Team is arriving at the arena!

Knockouts Title Tournament Match: Sienna vs Rosemary vs Allie

Sienna bails out to the floor at the bell, then drags Allie out…and winds up on the receiving end of a 2-on-1 beating from Allie and Rosemary.  Allie and Rosemary fight over who gets the pin on Sienna, who recovers and leaves both of them laying.  Rosemary gets a hanging armbar, Allie connects with a sliding dropkick to Rosemary, then hits a running knee to Sienna for 2.  Rosemary and Allie get bashed together by Sienna, clotheslines Rosemary to the floor, and big boots Allie for 1.  Sienna with a superplex to Allie, but takes forever to muster the strength to cover and Rosemary breaks it up at 2.  Rosemary gets an Indian Muta Lock on Sienna as Allie gets Cattle Mutilation, and they end up fighting each other off as Sienna is DEAD.  Rosemary and Allie trade shots, double superkick Sienna, then lay her out with a lungblower/German suplex combo, and it’s back to Allie and Rosemary.  Rosemary blocks a monkey flip and hits the Red Wedding for the win.

Winner: Rosemary

Hmmmm, did not expect Allie to lose here.   Great match, though.

oVe is backstage, and they’re…NUTS!  We’ll hear from them after this commercial break!

oVe is in the ring, and Sami Callihan calls both Canada and Mexico bullcrap, and he doesn’t care where people are from, it’s all the same thing.  This thing with LAX is past the point of pro wrestling, it’s gang warfare.  LAX will get their rematch, but it’ll be under their rules because they’re not running and hiding, they’re coming right at LAX with everything they’ve got, because they are from OHIO…the heart of America!  He says Ottawa is Canada’s asshole, because they are Ohio VS Everything…Everything…EVERYTHING!  A tag team called TDT comes out and say a bunch of stuff in French, and Callihan tells them to speak American.  TDT responds by attacking the Crists and booting Callihan out of the ring.  They try for a double piledriver on Jake Crist, but Callihan comes in with a kendo stick, and they work TDT over until LAX runs in to make the save.  They chase the Crists off, and Callihan just barely escapes a wild kendo stick shot from Konnan.

Johnny Impact and Petey Williams are backstage, and they’re…EXERCISING!

PlutoTV reminds us of when Low Ki and Christopher Daniels faced off in Six Sides of Steel!

Gail Kim finds Allie backstage, and Allie is really upset that she blew her shot, but Gail gives her a pep talk and tells her it’s her time.

KM goes to the gym to prove himself to American Top Team by beating the crap out of a bunch of people who are working out, then working over some vagrant guy who was at the back of the gym.

We go to the LAX clubhouse, and he’s going to have a word with Sami Callihan next week about…moving product through his territory?  Okay.

Ethan Carter III and Matt Sydal are backstage warming up, and they’ll face off after this break!

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis are backstage with McKenzie Mitchell, and they’re confident in their chances of winning tonight.

Fallah Bahh comes to ringside to be a judge for the next match…

Grand Championship Match: Ethan Carter III vs Matt Sydal

I wonder if this referee has graduated from high school yet.  The bell rings, and we’re off with round 1.  EC3 doesn’t seem to be taking Sydal very seriously, laughing off his athletics before booting Sydal in the gut and unloading with right hands and a shoulderblock.  Sydal catches EC3 with a flying headscissors and a dropkick, then connects with a standing moonsault for 1.  EC3 turns it around with some hard shots and a running TKO for 2, then boots Sydal out to the floor.  EC3 with a delayed vertical suplex as the first round ends.

EC3 is declared the winner of the first round, and goes right after Sydal as the second begins.  Sydal uses his speed to avoid EC3’s shots and unloads with chops of his own before hitting a corner charge for 2.  EC3 comes right back, grounding Sydal with a three quarter nelson.  Sydal reverses a back suplex attempt for 2, then hits a leg lariat and a series of kicks to EC3’s knee, followed by a spinkick for 2.  Sydal with a flying headscissors sends EC3 to the floor, then connects with a diving baseball slide.  Sydal rolls EC3 inside and makes a cover for 2 just as the bell rings.  EC3 hits Sydal with a cheapshot after the bell, and round 2 is declared for Sydal as we go into the third round.

EC3 rushes Sydal again and works him over in the corner, but Sydal sweeps his leg…and gets rolled up with tights for 2, then lifts Sydal up with one arm and powerbombs him for 2.  Sydal comes off the top with Meteora for 2.  EC3 counters with a Flatliner for another 2.  Sydal with a swinging cradle for 2, then a pair of kneelifts floors EC3 and he goes up top for a superplex.  EC3 tries to block, but Sydal fights him off and tries the Sydal Press.  EC3 moves, Sydal lands on his feet, and they bump heads as we go to the bell.  We’ll find out who wins after this commercial break!

We’re back for the decision, which is…


Well, that’s kind of a crappy finish.

The Global Wrestling Network shows us Bobby Roode vs James Storm from years ago, then we see American Top Team, Storm, and Moose all backstage getting ready for the tag match tonight!

Another commercial for the helpful folks at Park, Park, and Park, who will help you win settlements for questionable injuries because they are here for YOU!  Remember, a good attorney knows the law, a BETTER attorney knows the judge!

Bobby Lashley & Dan Lambert vs Moose & James Storm

Storm and Lashley start us off, and Storm quickly scores with a slingblade, then Moose tags in and hits a senton for 2.  Lashley turns Moose inside out with a hard clothesline, and Lambert tags in to make a cover for 2, then immediately tags right back out.  Lashley gets a rear chinlock, but Moose gets free and lays in some chops before Lashley hits a pop up powerbomb into the corner, then Moose comes out with a spear that nearly breaks Lashley in half.  Storm tags in and unloads on Lashley, the manager guy in bandages comes in to try and stop them, but he gets laid out and pressed to the floor, giving Lashley an opportunity to come in, flatten Moose, then spear Storm.  Lambert blind tags Lashley as he hits the spear, then quickly covers Storm for the win.

Winners: Bobby Lashley & Dan Lambert

Finish made perfect sense!

Johnny Impact and Petey Williams are with McKenzie Mitchell, and Petey says when he sees guys like Drake and Adonis stick their nose in other people’s business, he makes it the Canadian Destroyer’s business.  Impact says they’re going to kick some ass in the Impact Zone.

And now, it’s…MAIN EVENT TIME!

Eli Drake & Chris Adonis vs Petey Williams & Johnny Impact

Adonis and Impact start us off, and Impact uses his speed to outmaneuver Adonis and work some double teams with Petey.  Drake comes in and Petey hits a flying headscissors that sends Drake crashing into Adonis in the corner.  We’re at commercial.

We’re back as Petey and Drake are going at it, and Drake pops Petey over with a powerslam and makes a tag to Adonis.  Adonis wrenches Petey in half with an over the knee backbreaker, then Eli tags on and catapults Petey into the bottom rope for 2.  Petey is in peril, but makes a hot tag to Impact, who comes in and cleans house.  He goes to the top for Starship Pain, Adonis rolls out of the way, but Impact lands on his feet and hits a rolling three quarter nelson for 2.  Drake comes in and blindsides Impact, but Petey hits a Russian legsweep in retaliation.  Adonis gets the Adonis lock on Petey, Impact hits him with a leaping enziguiri, then follows up with Starship Pain for the win.

Winners: Johnny Impact & Petey Williams

Good tag team main event to close the show.  Alberto El Patron comes out of the crowd, attacks Drake from behind, then gives him a DDT on the belt.


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