Thursday, August 10, 2017

GFW Impact Wrestling Results - Aug 10, 2017

After the look back at last week and the opening video, we go to the ring where Sienna is staging a sit in. She's got both belts hanging from the ropes and is refusing to leave until Karen JArrett comes out and tells her who her opponent is going to be at Destination X next week. Karen comes out and says she doesn't like Sienna and never has, and Josh says she ought to look in the mirror. I love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments. Sienna says she's not Mrs. Jarrett anymore, she's just Karen to her, and asks who her opponent is going to be that makes her so special that Karen won't even tell Sienna her name. Karen says her opponent is always ready because she's a true professional, and she doesn't need until next week to get ready. Out comes Gail Kim, who tells Sienna that she plans to retire with the Knockouts Title around her waist, and that leads to a brawl breaking out. Gail knocks Sienna to the floor and then grabs the belts as Sienna looks angry.

Grado is backstage stressing about getting deported, and Park asks if he's tired of Kongo Kong interrupting his proposal attempts, then relates a saying his old football coach told him that he doesn't know what it means. But the point is, it's time to buck up for Grado and get that proposal done!

Garza Jr & Laredo Kid vs Naomichi Marufuji & Phantasma

Phantasma and Laredo start us off and do flippy dippy lucha stuff. Garza and Marufuji come in, and Garza hits a Codebreaker for 2. Marufuji responds with some chops, Garza with chops of his own, then they go out to the floor where Laredo and Garza illegally double team Marufuji. Phantasma, being a luchador, is physically incapable of not seeing three guys on the floor and immediately going for a dive, so he does. They go back in and Phantasma hits a top rope Frankensteiner and a frog splash for 2. Laredo comes in and does flippy dippy, and then Garza and Laredo hit a double team combo so implausible I don't even know how to describe it. It only ends up getting 2, so Laredo hits moonsaults from the first, second, and then third rope, but misses the third. Phantasma hits a running knee to the face and gets Laredo in a Mexican surfboard, then kicks him face first into the corner. Garza tells Marufuji and Phantasma to stop, and FINALLY someone has the presence of mind to knock Garza's head off when he does that. Laredo comes in and trades chops with Marufuji, followed by a short implant DDT for 2. Match ending spotfest ends with Laredo and Phantasma knocking each other out with dives to the floor, then poor Marufuji has to play along with stop so Garza can superkick him. That doesn't last long, as Marufuji superkicks Garza in the face for 2, then Sliced Bread #2 finishes Garza.

Winners: Phantasma & Naomichi Marufuji

Well, you knew politically that Phantasma wasn't gonna be involved in the pinfall whichever way it went, and you knew Marufuji wasn't taking a pinfall loss here, so really the only question was which one of them Marufuji was going to pin. Action packed match, even if lucha isn't my thing.

OVE (Ohio Versus Everything) is making their debut next week! What a...terrible team name!

Grado & Joseph Park vs Kongo Kong

Grado runs like a coward and makes Park fight Kong, and Park gets destroyed until he dodges a corner cannonball. Grado tags in and unloads on Kong, then they take Kong out with a double shoulderblock. Corner charges aplenty for Grado, but that stops almost immediately when Kong double clotheslines them out of hteir boots, chokeslams Grado, and crushes Park with a corner cannonball for 3.

Winner: Kongo Kong

Kong goes back to beating Grado up after the match and lays Grado on top of Park, then he goes to the top rope for a double splash that will undoubtedly end both men's careers forever...but then Laurel Van Ness runs into the ring and orders Kong to get off the top rope. She continues yelling at Kong and slaps him, so Kong picks Laurel up and is prepared to powerslam her...when Tyrus comes slowly swaggering out to the ring! Well, this ought to be interesting. Tyrus takes his hat, headphones, and chain off, then goes face-to-face with Kong. Laurel drags Kong away.

McKenzie Mitchell are backstage with Bobby Lashley, Trevor Lee, and Low Ki. They cut a promo on Matt Sydal, Sonjay Dutt, and Alberto El Patron, who they'll face in tonight's main event.

We see a video package hyping the Sonjay Dutt-Trevor Lee feud, then another video at American Top Team where the MMA guys think he needs to drop wrestling to focus on MMA, while Jeff Jarrett and King Mo believe otherwise. Finally, we go to a sit-down interview with Dutch Mantel hosting a face-to-face between Bobby Lashley and Matt Sydal. The interview boils down to Matt Sydal not appreciating Lashley thinking of him as "just" an X Division guy, because he's proved for years that he's one of hte best in the world in any division. Lashley says they created the X Division for a reason: because Sydal and the little guys just aren't on his level. Lashley asks Sydal what he thinks is gonna happen next week at Destination X, then grabs Sydal by the throat and chokes him as we go to commercial.

We see backstage footage from last week of Bruce Prichard and Karen Jarrett arguing. Prichard makes an announcement next week that will affect everyone on the GFW roster!

Streetfight/Unified World Tag Team Title Match: LAX vs Volunteers of War

LAX jumps the VoW during their entrance and they brawl on the floor. Ortiz whips Mayweather into the ring post, but Wilcox tosses Santana onto the ramp with an overhead release suplex. They head into the ring with VoW working Ortiz over until we go to commercial.

We return to action right as Mayweather gives Homicide THE ugliest powerbomb on the ring steps I've ever seen. Diamonte comes in with a chair and allows LAX to get the jump on Mayweather, handcuffing him to the ropes so that they can work Wilcox over 73-on-1. They set up a table in the corner and Santana hits a somersault Poetry In Motion to put Wilcox through it to pick up the win.

Winners: LAX

Match was a great brawl, but it gets really repetitive to see everyone LAX wrestles end up having to fight 900 people every single week.

Alberto El Patron, Sonjay Dutt, and Matt Sydal are backstage cutting a promo on Lashley, Low Ki, and Trevor Lee.

Super X Cup Semifinal Match: ACH vs Taiji Ishimori

They do a standard indy feeling out process to start. Desmond Xavier is backstage watching the match on a monitor as ACH does flippy dippy, Ishimori does flippy dippy, ACH slides to the floor, Ishimori fakes a dive, and ACH comes in and flattens him with a clothesline as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Ishimori rammed ACH into the barricade on the floor during the break. Now they're bakc inside where Ishimori hits a springboard double stomp for 2. Ishimori gets a victory roll for 2, but ACH with another clothesline, and he goes for a suplex but seems to have hurt his back. Oh yeah, the barricade...wait, IS ACH REMEMBERING TO SELL???? This is clearly a pod person. Ishimori gets a weird elevated lungblower, a top rope splash to ACH's back, and then Ishimori comes off the top with a 450 splash for the win.

Winner: Taiji Ishimori

Thank the Force that Ishimori won here, I don't think I would have been able to stomach an ACH vs Xavier flippy dipfest. Xavier comes out, shakes ACH's hand on the way past, and goes face to face with Ishimori in front of the trophy. They shake hands and Xavier leaves ti give Ishimori his moment.

We look back at last week when Low Ki revealed himself as the newest member of LAX, then Low Ki cuts a promo on Alberto and says a bunch of mean-sounding things to him in Spanish.


Alberto El Patron, Sonjay Dutt & Matt Sydal vs Bobby Lashley, Low Ki & Trevor Lee

Alberto goes right after Low Ki, beats the crap out of him, then tags Sonjay in. Sonjay almost immediately gets caught in the wrong part of town. Sonjay fights his way free as Sydal tags in and the two of them hit stero standing moonsaults on Lee and Low Ki. Lashley comes in and works Sydal over, then dumps him to the floor where Trevor Lee beats him up as we go to commercial.

We're back and Sydal is still getting beat up. He makes the hot tag to Sonjay, and now Sonjay gets beat up. Finally he makes the hot tag to Alberto, who starts to clean house until Lashley takes a cheap shot from the apron. Alberto nails him, then snap powerslams Low Ki and takes Lashley out with a dive to the floor. Sonjay comes off the top with a splash on Lee, Lashley takes Sonjay out with a clothesline, Alberto takes Lashley's legs off and sets up fot the Si Kick, and nails it. Low Ki comes in and Alberto gives him a Si Kick as well, but Trevor Lee knocks Alberto to the floor. Sonjay tries a moonsault, but Lashley catches and powerslams him. Low Ki goes ot the top and hits Sonjay with the Warrior's Way for 3.

Winners: Low Ki, Bobby Lashley & Trevor Lee

Great main event, and Low Ki is SCHEDULED to face Alberto for the unified title next week...assuming everyone makes it to work, of course.



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