Thursday, August 31, 2017

GFW Impact Wrestling Results - Aug 31, 2017

We see Eli Drake and Chris Adonis arriving at the arena, then American Top Team shows up at the arena where Dan Lambert gets into another tense argument with Jeff Jarrett. So, why are they letting these guys into the building AGAIN after the way they've been conducting themselves?

We look back at last week's Gauntlet match where Eli Drake won the GFW Global Title before American Top Team started another fight at ringside, then the new champion comes out to address the fans, and has a big, zebra-print couch in the ring to mark the occasion. He says he's busted his keyster for 14 years in this business, but is still pissed off that it took him this long, and that after all the politics and BS for 14 years, he's at the top of the mountain, and that's all that matters. People say you lose the hunger when you get to the top of the mountain, but that's BS because he spent all day beside the pool, then a cougar in a leopard print bikini came up to him and offered to give him her jugs, and now he's the Global Champion, and nobody could stop him, not even Jim Cornette. Johnny Impact comes out to the ring and says he's sick of hearing Eli run his mouth, and so are the fans. It's not about winning the title, it's holding onto it, and Johnny Impact is here because he wants it. Now Eddie Edwards comes out to the ring and says this ain't his first rodeo, and he knows you have to speak up if you want something. Johnny may be the AAA Mega Super Whatever Champion, but Eddie's been the World Champion here and outranks him. (He's also now the GHC Heavyweight Champion, by the way.) He wants his title back, and Johnny says he doesn't care who he has to take down first, but Eddie had his shot. Jim Cornette comes out to the ring and says there's no reason to bicker or argue because the title scene is hotter than a summer Sunday, and he thinks either of them, Lashley, or Matt Sydal could win this thing, so to make sure everyone gets what they want, we ought to have a tag team match tonight: Eddie and Impact against Adonis and Drake, and if Eli gets the pin, he doesn't have to defend the title, but if anyone else does, he has t odefend the title against that person.

Allie introduces herself to Taryn Terrell, and asks why she was so mean to Gail last week, because they were BFFs. Taryn says it's been a lot and she feels remorseful, and since Allie and Gail are such good friends, she wants Allie to give her a message. Allie is so totally into that, so Taryn kicks the crap out of her and thanks her for passing her message along.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BIG BOOTS????

oVe vs Mario Bokara & Fallah Bahh

Dave and Bokara start us off, and Dave takes Bokara to the corner and hits a leaping enziguiri. Jakes comes in with a kick, then Dave comes off the top with a really bad looking Fameasser for 2. He kicks Bokara in the head and then Jake comes in with a neckbreaker for 2. LAX is watching from backstage as Bokara tags Bahh in, and Bahh hits Jake with a crossbody block, then misses a legdrop. Bokara tags right back in, and the Crists hit him with...a pair of big boots! Jake hangs Bahh up on the middle rope so Dave can kick him in the head, and they hit a doomsday Ace Crusher for the win.

Winners: oVe

Okay, it was better than the last couple of weeks, but I think the gimmick is really overtaking what I KNOW these guys can do in the ring.

Jim Cornette has Moose in his office and is saying how great it is that he got invited to AAA Triplemania, then EC3 comes in to ask why the Grand Champion didn't get invited to Triplemania. Cornette says it's because he'll be busy defending against one of AAA's top stars, Phantasma Jr, then he and Moose tell EC3 that his ass better call somebody.

Caleb Konley vs Petey Williams

So this is Petey's first match that I'm aware of in years. Konley jumps Petey before the bell, but Petey comes back with a flying headscissors, then another one off the second rope. Petey with the diving dropkick to Konley's back, but Trevor Lee at ringside distracts Petey and allows Konley to take him down and start raining knees down on Petey's back. Konley maintains control for a surprisingly long time, even hiptossing Petey into the corner for 2. Petey comes back with the twisting Russian legsweep for 2, then a flatliner for another 2. Konley blocks the Canadian Destroyer with a spinning backfist, but Petey dodges the springboard moonsault that follows. Trevor Lee tries to distract Petey again, but Petey knows the score and runs Caleb into Trevor, then takes him out with a flying headscissors to the floor. Back into the rin where Petey hits the slingshot Codebreaker, followed by the Canadian Destroyer for the win.

Winner: Petey Williams

Very competitive, and Petey doesn't look like he lost a step. Trevor wasn't as happy with the match, and shows it by running in to attack Petey until Sonjay Dutt runs out to chase Trevor and Konley off.

Richard Justice is backstage doing squats and gets called for his match, and claims to weigh in at 205 pounds. Okay.

Sienna is backstage telling Taryn Terrell she had nothing to do with her win over Gail Kim, but Karen Jarrett comes in and says that Taryn's behavior has been unacceptable, and next week, the two of them will face Gail Kim and Allie, and who knows what kind of rules she might think of.

Richard Justice vs Kongo Kong

Oh boy, what a way to make your debut. Justice dodges a charge and unloads some right hands on Kong, but Kong nails him with a shoulderblock. Justice stops to do some squats and then hits the ropes, but runs right into Kong's outstretched fist and goes down in a heap. Kong goes to the top and hits a Superfly splash for the easy win.

Winner: Kongo Kong

Kong goes back to putting the boots to Justice before picking him up for a chokeslam. Mahabali Shera strides purposefully to the ring to stop that, and they trade right hands until Shera knocks Kong ot the floor with a flying shoulderblock. Mahabali Shera: he's here to save the world.

McKenzie is backstage with Johnny Impact, who says he came here to win that GFW Global Title. He's known Chris Adonis for 15 years and knows he's not a pushover, and neither is Eli Drake, but tonight...I don't know what the hell he says but he basically predicts to win and get a title shot.

Let's go to the LAX clubhouse, where Konnan says that he wants Low Ki to go out there and prove a point to that drunken fat boy James Storm by putting him in the hospital. Low Ki says he'll be sorry about his damn luck.

Low Ki vs James Storm

Low Ki jumps Storm before the bell and beats him down in the corner. The rest of LAX tries to interject themselves, but Storm fires up and begins turning the tide on Low Ki with some good ol', southern brawling offense. Low Ki managed to knock Storm off the top rope and unload on him with a series of martial arts kicks for 2. Storm mounts a comeback, connects with a leaping enziguiri and a running neckbreaker for 2. Russian legsweep for another 2. Low Ki struggles out of the Eye of the Storm, then counters a catapult to a springboard double stomp for 2. Storm ducks the Tidal Crush, then hits an overheard powerbomb facebuster for 2. Storm goes for the Last Call, but Low Ki catches him unawares with a shotgun dropkick. He goes for the Warrior's Way, but Storm rolls out of the way, then hits the Eye of the Storm for a close 2. Ortiz hops up on the apron and tells Storm he ain't nothing, Storm gets distracted, and that allows Low Ki to hit the Tidal Krush for another close 2. Low Ki gets distracted by Konnan on the apron, allowing Storm to hit Last Call, but Santana comes in and knocks Storm out with a tag belt, setting Low Ki to come off the top with the Warrior's Way for the win.

Winner: Low Ki

Terrific match! Whoever thought Low Ki wasn't World Title caliber is nuts.

Braxton Sutter is backstage checking on Allie when Garza Jr comes by to ask her how she's doing. Braxton says she's fine, and better than he'll be if he doesn't get lost. Garza gives him a dirty look and leaves, and Allie says he was just trying to be nice, but Braxton says he knows what he was really there for.

We see a video package of Jim Cornette speaking his mind on American Top Team and saying Lashley needs to stop letting them get in his mind. We then see footage from last week of another backstage confrontation between American Top Team and everyone in GFW.

We see the happy couple of Grado and Laurel Van Ness, and Joseph Park is apparently their wedding planner. He runs down all the things they have lined up for the wedding, including his Uncle Tobias bringing his wedding band. Grado wants to invite the Honky Tonk Man, and Laurel wants to bring her family from Victoria. Joseph Parks asks if she means Victoria, Wisconsin, and Laurel says "No silly, Victoria, Canada!" Grado's face suddenly drops as he and Joseph Park share a look of disbelief. I KNEW that's where they were going with this!

Tara Valkyrie is coming to GFW to do the bidding of the gods...or something.

We go to a prerecorded interview with Bobby Lashley, who is flanked by American Top Team. Lashley says he's had his ups and downs but is focused on continuing to do both wrestling and MMA. Dan Lambert says he's had ups and downs because he's not focused, and he'll be a cereer runner up if he doesn't drop wrestling and just focus on MMA. Dan Lambert says his confrontation with Jeff Jarrett was about confusing kindness for weakness, and then Lashley says he'll make his decision when it's time.

Speaking of time, it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!

GWF Global Champion Eli Drake & Chris Adonis vs Johnny Impact & Eddie Edwards

Adonis and Eddie start us off, with Eddie gaining an early advantage before tagging Impact in. Impact dominates Adonis, then Drake tags in, and doesn't do much better. Impact uses his speed to outmaneuver both opponents, hitting a standing shooting star press on Adonis for 2. Impact leapfrogs a charge from Drake to send him to the floor, then Eddie takes Drake out with a dive, followed by Impact taking Adonis out with a dive of his own as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Johnny Impact is in trouble at the hands of Adonis and Drake. They beat on him for a while until Impact hits Drake with a modified enziguiri and makes the hot tag to Eddie, who cleans house on Adonis and hits a blue thunder bomb for 2. Drake tries his luck as well, and catches Eddie with a top rope suplex for 2 as we go back to commercial.

We're back and Eddie takes a tilt-a-whirl powerslam from Drake, who follows up with a big elbowdrop for 2. Adonis tags in and gets an abominable stretch on Eddie, but then Drake comes in and goes for a suplex, but Eddie reverses it and then slips past Adonis to make the tag to Impact, who comes in with a big crossbody to Drake and a superkick to Adonis. Impact with a running kneestrike to Drake and then hits a double rolling neckbreaker to both opponents and covers Drake for 2. Impact goes for Starship Pain, but Adonis breaks it up and knocks Eddie to the floor. Adonis and Drake hit the Demolition Decapitator for 2. Eddie is in and hits Drake with a top rope Frankensteiner, then Impact comes off the top rope with Starship Pain...and Adonis breaks the cover up at 2. Drake hits Eddie with a low blow and the Gravy Train for the win.

Winners: Eli Drake & Chris Adonis

Great main event, and both Eddie and Impact are officially out of title contention.Bobby Lashley and American Top Team come out, and Dan Lambert says he can only assume Drake and Adonis don't know who they are because they haven't run. Jim Cornette comes out to ringside and says that if American Top Team touches anyone, Lashley will be suspended and won't get the chance to go to Triplemania. Cornette says we have other business: Eli Drake may have won that one, but he's defending that title next week against the man who upset Lashley: Matt Sydal! Sydal comes out to the top of the ramp to point at Drake to let him know he's coming for him. Nobody looks happy about this but Sydal, and we'll find out how that goes next week.


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