Thursday, May 25, 2017

Impact Wrestling Results - May 25, 2017

We hit the opening video with a look back at last week's show, then we go to the arena where Bruce Prichard is walking to the ring, clutching his ribs, with Tyrus in tow. He says that he got some personal protection after what happened with EC3 last week. Violence with Impact Wrestling management is not acceptable, and EC3's actions will be dealt with. But for right now, he wants to get to the matter at hand, and that's the Impact World Title. Bruce introduces Bobby Lashley, and he says this is about sheer dominance. Lashley says he doesn't care about a game being played by a bunch of nobodies, he's the franchise player, and he wants to know who he gets to beat up at Slammiversary. Didn't this all get settled weeks ago when Alberto took the GFW Global Title? Ethan Carter III comes out and Lashley tells him not to do it, but EC3 says that tonight, he becomes the #1 contender, goes to Slammiversary, and becomes an EC3-time World Champion. Magnus comes out to the ring and says his credentials speak for themselves, and Lashley has never been in the ring again. He tells EC3 to shut his mouth for a few seconds because he returned to Impact Wrestling to fight a crusade against the terror of the Prichard regime, the terror that cost him his title and his golden ticket to Slammiversary. He'll become the #1 contender tonight and go on to face Lashley at Slammiversary. James Storm comes out and says Lashley has a teeny head and a giant body, then tells everyone to step out of the ring so he can dish out a beating, but Prichard says they're in a triple threat match tonight, and the winner faces a champion at Slammiversary. Bruce sweetens the pot and says they can even make it a no DQ match, but if anyone touches each other before the match tonight, there won't be a match, and they'll be suspended indefinitely.

EC3 is backstage saying the triple threat match was named after him, and he's going to take James Storm out and celebrate with a drink in the form of a bottle he's gonna break over his head before he goes to Slammiversary to become an EC3-time World Champion.

KM & Kongo Kong vs Braxton Sutter & Mahabali Shera

Kongo goes at it with Braxton while the ladies yell at each other on the floor. Mahabali winds up in trouble and taking a beating at the hands of Kong and KM, and that continues as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Mahabali makes the tag, allowing Sutter to come in and go after Kong. They brawl out to the floor as Allie comes in and brawls with Sienna and Laurel. She takes them both out with a crossbody, but Kong headbutts Shera and allows KM to roll him up for the win.

Winners: Kongo Kong & KM

The fight continues after the match, and the men fight to the back while Sienna and Laurel beat Allie up. Rosemary comes out and the mean girls think she's gonna help them, but she blows mist in Sienna's face, then picks Laurel up and gives her the Red Wedding. Rosemary and Allie have an uncomfortable staredown as we go to commercial.

GFW Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinal: Volunteers of War vs Mario Bokara & Fallah Bahh

The VoW work Bokara over, then Fallah comes in and squashes Mayweather in the corner with an avalanche before hitting a Samoan drop. Mayweather flattens Bokara when he tags in, and he makes the tag to Wilcox, who cleans house on Bokara while Mayweather lays Bahh out on the floor. They hit their finish on Bokara and that's all she wrote.

Winners: Veterans Of War

Fine for what it was. We're at commercial.

Brutus Magnus is backstage and says that anything can happen in this triple threat match, but he's the most cerebral guy in the company, and the others will learn the hard way that he'll be the World Champion again at Slammiversary.

Josh Mathews comes out and says that he and a partner of his choosing will face Borash and Joseph Park at Slammiversary, and he asks Borash to join him in the ring. Josh says that he's made a lot of mistakes since coming here and has been trying to atone for them. He apologized to Mike Tenay for taking his job, he unblocked Dave Penzer, and now he wants to apologize to Borash. Joseph Park comes out and advises Borash, as his attorney, not to shake his hand. Josh loses it and says that he's sick of this because he should be the lead announcer instead of giving htese two idiots the rub. He's going to reveal his partner when he's good and ready, but Joseph says they won't wait and can do it right now. Josh calls him a fat, disgusting slob, but a ref comes out and we're ready for an impromptu match...

Josh Mathews vs Joseph Park

They circle one another and then...the siren hits and it's SCOTT STEINER! Borash heads for the hills, and Mathews low blows Park, allowing Steiner to come in and put the boots to Park and put him in the Steiner Recliner. Mathews tells the fans that it's on because it'll be Josh Mathews and Scott Steiner against these two idiots, live on PPV! Guess we'll call this...

NO CONTEST

We go to a video package of Moose talking about what it means to him to be the Impact Grand Champion, and how much it sucks to keep getting attacked from behind. He sees himself as the top champion in Impact Wrestling, and it's his job to defend his title with honor.

McKenzie is backstage with Eli Drake, and asks him about his disgusting behavior. Drake says he may not talk and act like they want, but he was backed into a corner, and he makes a loud noise when people do that. Moose tries to get in and get at Drake, but security holds him back while Drake says it's nothing personal, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He challenges Moose to defend that title next week, and Moose says he's got it. Drake jumps Moose and they brawl, but Chris Adonis blindsides Moose and they lay him out.

Davey & Angelina Love vs Eddie & Alicia Edwards

The two cou;les start brawling at ringside and Eddie rams Davey into the barricade while Angelina works Alicia over on the other side of the ring. Into the ring where Davey unloads on Eddie with a series of kicks and yells in his face. Eddie sidesteps a charge and sends Davey to ringside, then takes him out with a dive through the ropes. Eddie unloads with chops, but Angelina jumps on Eddie's back and gouges his eyes. Alicia goes to the top and takes both Davey and Angelina out with a dive as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Eddie is laying into Davey inside the ring, but Angelina nails Eddie from the ring apron and gives Davey an opening to attack Eddie and put him on the mat with a legwhip. Davey works over the knee and gets a figure four, with occasional leverage assistance from his wife when the ref isn't looking. Eddie is down on the mat and is put back there with another shot to the leg every time he tries to get back up. Eddie finally flattens Davey with a clothesline and goes for the tag, but Angelina pulls Alicia off the apron and leaves Eddie hanging (a feeling not wholly unfamiliar to any married man). Davey goes back after Eddie, but Eddie whips him into the corner at light speed, then finally makes the hot tag to his wife, who comes in and cleans house on Angelina. Alicia goes for a top rope crossbody, but Angelina scoots out of the way and Alicia hits hard. Angelina goes for the Botox Injection, but Alicia sidesteps and rolls Angelina up for the win.

Winners: Eddie & Alicia Edwards

Eddie hobbles in and hugs his wife, but Davey and Angelina jump them from behind. Davey handcuffs Eddie to the ropes, then chokes him until Angelina pulls him off and orders him to get a table. Her husband dutifully follows orders and sets the table up in the ring, and Angelina powerbombs Alicia through the table while Eddie screams helplessly from the ropes.

We see Spud in the hospital and he says that he knows he was supposed to be back in the Impact Zone this week, but his doctor who he trusts very much, a UK doctor, told him he needs one more week. He will be back and will get his revenge. We then hear a woman yelling from off camera, and Spud yells "MOM! I'M TRYING TO DO AN INTERVIEW! KAYFABE!!"

And with that, it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!

Brutus Magnus vs James Storm vs Ethan Carter III

Magnus powders out as the match starts, but Storm clears EC3 out and then lays Magnus out as well. Storm beats both men up on the floor, then takes water bottles from ringside fans and takes turns smashing them over EC3's head and kicking him in the ding ding. Magnus finally jumps Storm from behind and he and EC3 deliver a double suplex on the ramp as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Storm is still getting beat up by both his opponents. He fights back against EC3, but Magnus comes from behind and gouges his eyes. They continue putting the boots to Storm and EC3 wedges a chair in the corner as Magnus cracks a kendo stick over Storm's back. Storm dodges a kendo stick shot and EC3 accidentally cracks Magnus instead, but they make up. Magnus gets the stick and Storm dodges another shot, causing Magnus to hit EC3, but Magnus just shrugs and unloads on EC3 a few more times. Now EC3 and Magnus are going at it and wipe each other out with a double clothesline. Now Storm mounts a comeback and goes for covers on both men, but can't get a three count on either. Storm gets a chair and works both men over, wedges a chair in between Magnus' legs, and uses a chair to smash it into Magnus' ding ding. EC3 hits a TK3 on Storm and makes a cover, but only gets 2. Magnus puts EC3 on the top rope and drills him with a running kneelift, Storm hits Magnus with a leaping enziguiri, then Storm DDTs EC3 on the ring apron. Magnus comes in and gets Storm in the Texas Cloverleaf, but EC3 comes in and nails Magnus with a chair, then hits the 1%...for a 2 count. EC3 has the chair again, but Storm hits Closing Time with the chair for 2. Magnus goes for a superplex on Storm, but Storm knocks him into the Tree of Woe. EC3 climbs on top of Magnus to superplex Storm, but Magnus sits up and spider suplexes both men. EC3 goes to superplex Magnus, but Magnus hits a gourdbuster off the top, then Storm rams EC3 into the chair and makes a cover, Magnus breaks it up with a top rope elbowdrop and covers EC3, but EC3 is out at 2. Storm drills Magnus with the Last Call, but EC3 shoves Storm out of the ring and quickly covers Magnus for the win.

Winner: Ethan Carter III

Great finish! EC3 is back in the title picture, and he's going to Slammiversary!


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