Thursday, April 13, 2017

Impact Wrestling Results - Apr. 13, 2017 (+ Full Show Videos)

We kick the show off with a video package looking back at last week's show, focusing on the brutal Last Man Standing match between Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards, Sienna vowing revenge on Braxton Sutter & Allie, and the main event of Jeremy Borash and Josh Mathews picking their teams for tonight's match, including the returns of Matt Morgan & Brutus Magnus.


We go to the show, and we see Braxton Sutter & Allie arriving at the arena, as well as Sienna & KM. They'll face off in a mixed tag tonight!

Reno Scum vs Garza Jr & Laredo Kid vs Decay

Thornstowe and Laredo start us off as Josh calls the fans at home marks and says he's focusing on his match tonight and not anything that'll happen in the ring. Well, at least he gave us fair warning this week. Thornstowe and Luster the Legend work Garza over, but then Crazzy Steve comes in and...stands there while Garza tears his pants off and tosses them at Rosemary. Steve knocks Garza off the apron and hits a running cannonball on him against the barricade. Abyss tags in and hits a corner splash on Garza, but Steve tags in and eats a flying forearm from Garza, who finally makes the hot tag to Laredo Kid....oh wait, he doesn't because Rosemary pulls Laredo ff the apron. Garza tags Luster instead, and he comes in to clean house on Steve with a big spinebuster before trading punches with Abyss. Luster floors Abyss with a headbutt, but charges right into a chokeslam from Abyss. All heck breaks loose with our required "everyone hits a spot" segment until Reno Scum hits a NASTY loking leapfrog curb stomp move on Steve for the win.

Winners: Reno Scum

NASTY finish, but it looks awesome. Goodwin for Reno Scum.

McKenzie is backstage asking Andrew Everett what's next, and he says he deserves an X Division Title shot. Helms and Lee come in to tell him he doesn't deserve that yet, so he'll get a fatal four way tonight with Marshe Rockett and Suicide, but Everett suggests that Helms be the fourth guy. Helms says he's not ready for that, but Everett accuses him of being scared, so Helms says he'll do it. Everett says he'll see him out there.

Bruce Prichard comes out to the ring and says it's time to announce who the fans chose to becomes the #1 contender to the World Title, and who will face Bobby Lashley next week. It's going to be...James Storm! Ethan Carter III isn't happy, and he comes out to get in Prichard's face. EC3 says to read it again, so Prichard says he didn't stutter, and again says James Storm. EC3 says he doesn't know or trust Bruce, but the fans recognize that he's the top guy in Impact, and he thinks the system is rigged. Bruce reminds EC3 that the vote idea was his, and the fans have spoken. EC3 talks about everything he did for this company, and asks if he'll hold that one loss to Alberto over his head. Prichard has some dvice for EC3: maybe he should go backstage, look in the mirror, and ask the guy he sees what happened to EC3, the top man, and the guy who was THE man here. Then he wants EC3 to ask him HOW he lost that match, and ask if he tapped out in a match, or tap out on himself. EC3 thanks Bruce and says he'll look the guy in the mirror dead in the eyes, and ask him what he needs to do to prove to Bruce, these PEOPLE, and himself what he needs to do to prove what he's capable of. Bruce wishes him luck, and EC3 smiles an insincere smile and shakes his hand.

Karen Jarrett talks about how she'll make Impact Wrestling great again, then we go to the ring for our next match...

Sienna & KM vs Allie & Braxton Sutter

KM and Braxton start us off, and Braxton uses his speed to outmaneuver KM and get a rollup for 2. Sienna trips Braxton from the floor, so Allie does the same to KM. Sienna goes in the ring to yell at Allie, causing a distraction that allows KM to blindside Sutter. That only lasts a moment until Sutter suplexes KM into the corner, Sienna tries to tackle Sutter, but Sutter moves and tags a nervous Allie in. Allie unloads forearms on Sienna, a charging clothesline in the corner, but gets caught on a crossbody attempt. However, Sienna staggers backward and trips over KM, allowing Allie to fall on top for the win.

Winners: Braxton Sutter & Allie

The celebration is short lived because Kongo Kong, who looks like Papa Shango after a couple of years eating nothing but Snickers bars, comes out, picks Sutter up by the neck, and just tosses him into the corner before picking him back up to hit a big Samoan drop. Kongo drags Sutter into the corner by the face as Sienna and KM egg him on, and Kong hits a rolling senton splash on Sutter. Sienna orders Kong out of the ring, and Laurel Van Ness chooses this moment to run in and attack Allie, who can't fight both Laurel and Sienna off. Sienna hits the AK-47 on Allie, then Laurel jumps on top of her and beats her in the head over and over with her high heel shoe. Then does it some more. Then does is still more until Sienna finally has to drag Laurel off of Allie and shake her while telling her to get herself together. Laurel staggers out to the floor, then notices Kong there and gets this wide-eyed look on her face. I think Crazy Laurel is my new favorite Knockout.

Knockouts Champion Rosemary vs Santana Garrett

Rosemary jumps Santana before the bell, but Santana catches her with a series of pinning combinations for 2 counts. Santana runs up the ropes and armdrags Rosemary, but Rosemary gets a headscissors and uses it to choke Santana over the ropes. Rosemary connects with a hard clothesline, a neckbreaker, and then a rolling Muta Lock. Hey, remember a few years ago when Santana was here as Brittany, the Knockout who had an unhealthy lesbian infatution with Madison Rayne? Glad they're letting her be a normal wrestler these days. Rosemary chokes her over the ropes and goes for the Red Wedding, but Santana gets out and hits a handspring elbow in the corner, followed by a Russian legsweep for 2. Rosemary dodges a charge and hits a shotgun dropkick, then goes to the top rope only for Santana to hit a cartwheel headscissors. Rosemary quickly catches her with the Red Wedding, and that's all she wrote.

Winner: Rosemary

Great showing by Santana, I hope she gets a full-time gig out of this.

Davey Richards and Angelina Love are making out backstage, and Angelina says they have no remorse for last week, then they go back to making out before she says they deserved every bit of suffering they got.

Andrew Everett vs Marshe Rockett vs Suicide vs Gregory Shane Jim Bob Randy Timothy Steven Helms

Helms bails out to the floor as soon as the bell rings, leaving the other three to go at it. This really is the entire X Division right now, isn't it? Everett winds up getting distracted by Helms and Trevor Lee on the floor, allowing Rockett to nail Everett and hit a backdrop. Everett lands on his feet and drops Rockett to the floor where Suicide does his backward dive off the ropes. Everett goes for a dive, but Helms trips Everett, then comes in and hits a snapmare followed by a couple of fistdrops. Helms bails out as soon as the others get back in the ring, then he gets a schoolboy rollup on Suicide for2 before running back to the floor. Rockett takes Suicide and Everett out with a double clothesline to take control as Josh says Magnus was carrying his wife's bags around for that other company in Orlando, then asks where he dug Matt Morgan up from. Way to get the talent over, master announcer! Suicide and Rockett wind up on the floor and Helms comes in to hit a hammerlock Flatliner. He stops to inform the fans that he's the greatest cruiserweight of all time, but Everett is up and unloading on Helms with right hands and a flying forearm. Everett with a corner forearm, but Helms goes to the eyes...then eats an enziguiri from Suicide. Everett with another enziguiri sends Helms to the floor, Rockett comes in and plants him with a gourdbuster, then gives Suicide a gourdbuster on top of Everett. Rockett goes to the top, but misses a crossbody. Suicide hits Rockett with a Lionsault, Everett hits Suicide with a Pelle kick, then Everett goes to the top and hits his shooting star press to pin Rockett for the second week in a row.

Winner: Andrew Everett

Everett points at Helms and says he's coming for the X Division Title, but Trevor Lee comes out of nowhere and hits Everett, and he and Helms swarm their former friend. Everett plants Lee in the mat with a Frankendriver, and Helms runs for his life.

Matt Morgan talks about how he plans to make Impact Wrestling great again.

Davey Richards vs DJ Z

Davey backs DJ Z into a corner and unloads with kicks, hits a charging forearm in the corner, then goes out to the floor to make out with Angelina. That gives DJ Z an opening to hit a baseball slide, then ram Davey into the barricade and ring steps before dumping him back into the ring. DJ Z comes off the top with a crosbody for 2. Davey rips his head off with a clothesline, but misses a top rope double stomp and gives DJ Z an opening to start firing back. DJ Z with a neckbreaker for 2, then a springboard back elbow. DJ Z goes for a rolling DDT, but Davey reverses to the Alarm Clock and quickly gets an anklelock, forcing DJ Z to tap out almost immediately.

Winner: Davey Richards

Eddie Edwards pushes past security to go after Davey, who stands in the ring yelling at him. Davey tries to get past security, but now Alicia runs into the ring and attacks Angelina Love while security is tied up with Eddie and Davey. Angelina gets away, so Alicia goes back after her HARD. Security finally pulls everyone apart, and we know this one is FAR from over.

We go to the broadcast table where Josh (who has promised to leave Impact Wrestling forever if his team loses) and Borash bicker one last time, and then it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!

Bobby Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake & Tyrus vs Alberto El Patron, Chris Adonis, Matt Morgan & Brutus Magnus

Of course Magnus brings the GFW Title belt to the ring with him. Alberto and Lashley start us off, but Lashley tags out to Drake before making contact. Feeling out stuff to start until Alberto hits an enziguiri for 2. Adonis tags in and unloads some chops on Drake and makes a quick cover for 2. Lashley tags in and goes to work on Adonis, then they trade full nelson attempts before Adonis takes Lashley down with a shoulderblock. Adonis with a double underhook suplex ot the World Champion, who now tags Bram in to charge right into a Samoan drop from Adonis for 2. Magnus is in to see his first action in an Impact ring in a long time, and coincidentally, it's against his former BFF Bram. Magnus with a sitout Michinoku driver for 2, then Bram ditches out to the floor. Magnus connects with a baseball slide, but Bram trips Magnus on the apron and rams him into the barricade a couple of times. Bram dishes out more punishment inside the ring and tags in Drake to put the boots to Magnus. Magnus hits a jawbreaker on Drake, but gets brought right back down with a Russian legsweep. Magnus boots Drake in the face and makes the tag to Alberto, who comes in and hits a lungblower on Drake. He goes after Lashley before hitting a single arm DDT on Drake as we go to commercial.

We're back as Tyrus blindsides Adonis with a clothesline from behind before hitting a slam and an elbowdrop for 2. Tyrus with a t-bone suplex, followed by an avalanche splash in the corner . Tyrus picks Adonis up, walks to the corner, and tags Lashley before hitting a front powerslam, allowing Lashley to cover for 2. Adonis is in deep trouble as Lashley hits a neckbreaker for 2. Magnus gets mugged in the Mathews corner, then Bram hits a short clothesline for 2. Drake is back in and dumps Adonis to the floor where Lashley and Bram work him over some more. Team Borash tries to make the save, but the referee goes to the floor and backs them off, allowing the heels more time to work Adonis over. Finally we're back under control as Drake hits a powerslam and elbowdrop on Adonis for 2. Adonis tries to fight his way past Tyrus and Drake, but Tyrus headbutts him in the chest and drags him to the corner. Tyrus goes to the second rope for the Vader Bomb, but Adonis rolls out of the way and then makes it to his corner to tag Morgan in. Morgan cleans house on the entire Team Mathews by himself. Morgan with corner splashes on Bram and Drake, then a side suplex to Drake. Morgan chokeslams Bram and covers for 2. Tyrus is in, Alberto dropkicks his leg out then superkicks his teeth down his throat, Lashley spears Alberto, Adonis hits a spinebuster on Lashley, Drake hits a Celtic Cross on Adonis, Magnus powerbombs Drake, then he gets the seated Cloverleaf. Bram breaks it up and tosses Magnus, then gets Morgan in the eyes, but runs right into the Carbon Footprint. Magnus comes off the top with an elbowdrop and pins Bram for the win.

Winners: Alberto El Patron, Chris Adonis, Matt Morgan & Brutus Magnus

Great main event, and if Josh is a man of his word, he is now a former member of the Impact Wrestling broadcast team. Borash is literally on his feet dancing and hugs Magnus as he tells Josh not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out. Now the entire locker room comes out of the back to celebrate Josh losing his job as we close the show.






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