Thursday, September 8, 2016

TNA IMPACT WRESTLING RESULTS (#DELETEorDECAY) - SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

The show opens with a statement being read by Senor Benjamin to let us know not to try anything we're about to see at home, and then Vanguard-1 lets us know that no animals were harmed in the documentation of this invasion. Genius. We see a recap of Decay's visit to the Hardy Compound last week, then we see another Obsolete music video with Reby on the piano and clips of Senor Benjamin digging graves for Decay. Matt Hardy is with his platoon, and says it's time for them to do exercises to get in touch with their primal instincts. He tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for VISITATION.

We go to the arena where Mike Bennett and his wife, the new Knockouts Champion Maria Kannelis-Bennett, come out to open the show. When he was growing up, his mom told him not to bite the hand that feeds him, and he's apparently the only one who had a decent mother growing up since he should be the TNA World Champion right now, and he isn't because of one man, one ungrateful man, a man he brought in. He had a good relationship with Moose, he did what Bennett said when he said it, he paid Moose, and that wasn't good enough for him, because he had to listen to the fans and let his ego get the best of him. He's going to get rid of Moose just as quickly as he brought him in, and he sent him a very strongly worded text message FIRING HIS ASS. With Moose out of the way, Bennett can now focus on winning the TNA World Title, and nobody can stop him. Dixie Carter comes out of the back and asks Bennett if he's done yet and if we can wrap this up since the fans came here to watch Impact WRESTLING, not As The Miracle Turns. Bennett says nobody has appreciated them since they got here, but now that Moose is gone, he's going to be champion, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Dixie questions his decisions and how good they are for this company (PFFFFFFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!), but she made a good decision for this company, and it affects him. Bennett says he knows she'll do the right thing and add him to the contract signing for the title match at Bound For Glory. Dixie says this is about Bound For Glory, but she signed Bennett's opponent for Bound For Glory, and it's Moose! Bennett looks unhappy, and Moose comes out of the back a newly-minted member of the TNA roster. Moose comes into the ring and strangles Bennett, but the Bennetts get free and scurry off to the back while Moose smiles and watches them go.

Tonight: it's Delete or Decay as the Hardys go up against Decay at the Hardy Compound in Cameron, North Carolina! But right now, let's go to the ring for our opening match...

Before that, the Bennetts are backstage telling Dixie they're not doing the match with Moose at Bound For Glory, and Dixie says she can just tear up that contracts right now. Dixie also says that as long as Maria is the Knockouts Champion, she has no decision making power in the Knockouts Division since it's a conflict of interest, and we'll figure out her challenger at Bound For Glory very soon.

Gail Kim & Jade vs Sienna & Allie

Sienna is chewing Allie out the entire way down to the ring while Allie has her sad puppy face on. Allie wants to start, but Sienna yanks her to their corner and orders her to get out. Gail jumps Sienna to start the match, and unloads with a flurry that has the former Knockouts Champion on the defensive. Allie tags herself in but quickly gets knocked to the floor where Sienna chews her out again, then tags herself in. Sienna catches Gail on a crossbody and suplexes her for 2. The crowd chants "we want Allie" as Sienna stomps Gail out, then shoves Allie out of the way when she tries to join in. Sienna hits a Samoan drop on Gail for 2, but Gail escapes the AK-47, hits a neckbreaker, and makes the hot tag to Jade. Allie tags herself in and goes for a double axhandle, but accidentally nails Sienna. Sienna responds by flattening Allie with the Silencer and lets Jade pin her.

Winners: Gail Kim & Jade

Gail and Jade don't look happy about what Sienna did, and help a confused Allie to her feet.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with Billy Corgan, and wants to know what his big announcement is. Billy says he has an announcement that could change wrestling forever, but he'll have to wait for him to go out in front of the fans just like everyone else.

The Hardys are out in the personal zoo to get in touch with their primal instincts, and he has collected the animals with the most resplendent souls in history. Matt talks to his giraffe, whom he thinks is George Washington, then sets Brother Nero up for a sparring match with Smokin' Joe Frazier...a kangaroo. We then go to Matt's cage full of "spot monkeys" that he has named after members of the X Division. He introduces them to Brother Nero, a recovering spot monkey, then they go visit his pet tiger, Genghis Khan. The Decay fleet is approaching, and the battle will happen...TONIGHT.

Billy Corgan is in the ring with his major announcement, and he says as the wrestlng business changes, the one thing that always stays the same is the goal to be the best. He retires the King of the Mountain Title, then unveils the new TNA Grand Championship. Drew Galloway comes out and says that if Corgan is looking for a new champion, how about someone who is 6'9", has 16 years of experience and just turned 31, makes the ladies swoon and the men love the physicality? Corgan says he thinks Drew will appreciate what the new title is about, and then we see a video package detailing the rules for Grand Championship matches: three rounds, 10 point minimum, and matches can end anytime by pinfall or submission. Corgan says the first champion will be crowned at Bound For Glory, and Drew says he'll let Corgan in on a little secret: when you use Drew Galloway to his best, he IS the business. Aron Rex comes out and says the fans are the business, not Drew, and this all started over a title and ended with him taking a cheapshot. Rex says he'll send Drew back to Scotland in a medical helicopter, but Corgan tells both men to calm down because they're both in first round matches in the tournament, and Drew's match is up next.

Grand Championship Tournament, First Round: Drew Galloway vs Braxton Sutter

Drew powers Sutter into the corner, but Sutter ducks a wild swing and fires off some right hands. Drew easily powers Sutter up with a suplex and launches him across the ring, then does it again with an overhead release suplex and covers for 2. Drew boots Sutter in the chest and covers for 2, then picks Sutter up by the throat and chokes him before tossing him backward into the corner and dishing out a series of punishing chops. Galloway starts firing back with about 30 seconds left in the first round, but Drew takes him down, fires off some punches, and snaps him over with a suplex for 2, then rains punches down on Sutter as the bell rings to end the first round.

We take about a 30 second break as we see the judges unanimously scored the first round 10-9, then the second round begins with Drew pummeling Sutter with punches and chops before dropping him with a northern lariat. Drew Awesome bombs Sutter into the opposite corner, then stops to play to the crowd before drilling Sutter with a running knee in the corner, followed by an attempted inside-out-suplex, but Sutter snaps Drew's neck down on the top rope and then superplexes Drew for 2. Sutter with more shots to Drew, but Drew just shrugs it off, so Sutter takes Drew down and hammers him with more punches, then snaps Drew over with a quick powerslam for 2. Sutter gets on top of Drew and hammers him with more punches, then Drew is up and they trade blows with Sutter coming out on top, then taking Drew down and ending the round punching Drew as the clock runs out.

Drew takes a moment to compose himself on the floor as we see a split decision for round 2, with two judges scoring 10-9 for Sutter, and the third 10-9 for Drew. Sutter wastes no time going after Drew as the round begins, but Drew counters a spear attempt to a short piledriver, then taps Sutter out to the Iron Maiden.

Winner: Drew Galloway

Great match, I love the rules and am looking forward to seeing more of these kind of matches.

We come back from commercial and see that Rockstar Spud attacked Braxton Sutter during the break and tried to destroy his teeth.

We go to some liquor store where a redneck guy comes out with a brown bag special and drives off, but sees Rosemary staggering down the road and stops. He pulls up and asks her if she needs a ride with a big smile on his face, but then Abyss and Steve surround the guy's truck and Rosemary attacks, and the next thing we see is Decay driving away in the truck as the guy is left laying unconscious on the street...with his pants down. Okay.

We go to the press conference officially announcing the main event of Bound For Glory between Bobby Lashley and Ethan Carter III. Josh Mathews introduces Billy Corgan, and then the challenger and finally the champion. Corgan says we can count on lots of main events like this with him as the TNA President, and this is going to be one we won't wanna miss. He turns it over to EC3, who says he's staring at the most dominant TNA World Champion of all time. He can't look him dead in the eyes because he has sunglasses on, but he does see a bully, an intimidator, and a coward. Bobby can do whatever he wants as champion, but disrespecting a division was a dick move, and that was only one of the ones he's pulled since he won the title. The dance ends at Bound For Glory because he's coming to fight. Corgan asks Lashley for his response, and Lashley says he doesn't do any dances, and his company is under fire by a lot of different wrestling companies and sports, and we even have little MMA guys running their mouths. He bullies and intimidates because we need to eliminate the weak in the business, and the locker room is full of weak guys. He's been wrestling for several years, SEVERAL years, and he eliminates weak people. He can defend their company against any organization, sport, or fighter, and that's why he has it. He wants to know if EC3 can do the same, and EC3 says being the champion is a job, a job for the most dominant champion of all time, and that's not him. He's the guy you call when you need someone to kick the ass of the most dominant champion of all time. He's coming to Bound For Glory with everything in his being, and he will become an EC3-time World Champion. Lashley thinks it's hilarious that people believe this hype, because EC3 is a bodybuilder, and he is a fighter. Kurt Angle, Drew Galloway, DJ Z, Eddie Edwards, and James Storm all looked him in the eye and said they would beat him, and he's going to break and beat EC3 like he did to all those men, and there's nothing EC3 can do about it. Lashley says we can hype these guys up as much as we want and sing along, he doesn't care, because he's going to go home and train, and you'll see a different kind of fighter than we've seen all year, and he's going to kill EC3. It's all over on October 2nd, because he's going to beat EC3's ass like he's never had his ass kicked before. He's the man, we've seen what he's done, and people still don't believe it, but he's going to keep doing it to everyone no matter who it is. Ec3 and Lashley go face-to-face for the photo op, but EC3 flips Lashley off and they start brawling, with EC3 beating the CRAP out of Lashley and hitting him with a chair, then they fight up into the bleachers where Lashley pummels EC3 and throws him down the stairs. We go to commercial, and when we come back, we're watching the continuation of the fight from the press conference as it made its way backstage. Lashley lays EC3 out and throws a promotional poster on him before ramming him into a heavy garage door. He tells a backstage goon to open the door, and they continue fighting outside where Lashley opens up the back of an ambulance, throws EC3 through some wooden pallets, and walks off as EC3 is being attended to by medical staff.

We see a video package of Jessie Godderz talking about what the Grand Championship tournament means to him, then we go to the ring for another tournament match...

Grand Championship Tournament, First Round: Jessie Godderz vs Eli Drake

Jessie immediately takes it to the mat and ties Eli up, Eli tries to sit out and armdrag out, but Jessie maintains control. Jessie takes Eli down with a shoulderblock, dropkick, and a running forearm for 2. Jessie puts Eli to the mat with an Olympic roll for 2, Eli gets a front headlock roll for 2, and Jessie winds up back on top with another series of pinfall attempts as the clock runs out on the first round.

One judge who is apparently on crack judged the first round for Drake, but the other two went for Godderz. They fight over a waistlock, but Eli drills Jessie with a series of right hands and puts the boots to him. Drake with a floatover DDT for 2, then Jessie catches Drake with a sleeper, but Drake hiptosses out and hits a powerslam for 2. Eli takes too much time playing to the crowd, and Jessie catches him with a springboard forearm, and opens up with a fiery comeback. Just about 30 seconds left in the first round as Godderz goes for the Adonis Lock, Drake gets out and tries another floatover DDT, Jessie counters to the Adonis Lock, but the clock runs out before hje can get Eli to tap.

Jessie thought he had it won, but no dice. Once again, we have two judges scoring for Jessie and one for Eli. Jessie opens the third round with a schoolboy rollup for 2, a Jack Brisco rollup out of the corner for 2, but Eli counters a leg lariat to a powerbomb for 2. Eli goes for some kind of leg submission, but Jessie counters it to the Adonis Lock again. Drake is too close ot the ropes and gets the break with 90 seconds to go, and Jessie hits a H-U-G-E Saito suplex for 2. One minute left as Drake Tullys Jessie into the middle rope, then hits Blunt Force Trauma and covers for the win with 45 seconds left.

Winner: Eli Drake

Really good match, I had no idea Jessie had that in him. His stock definitely rose in my eyes after this one. Eli Drake advances to the second round of the tournament, and we'll get the other half of the first round next week.

Delete or Decay is up...NEXT!

Is your life falling apart? Call...THE FIXER! Operators are standing by, and it's cash only, baby!

Aron Rex is out in the parking lot kicking chairs, and he says it took half the locker room to pull Drew Galloway and himself. Drew called him out, cheapshotted him, and he could say what's going through his head, but he's not here to perform, and he wants Drew to know that he's not thinking.

Senor Benjamin reads the advisory warning again, and then we're off to the Hardy Compound for...DELETE OR DECAY!

Eerie music plays as Decay makes their way onto the Hardy compound and find Senor Benjamin digging graves for them. Benjamin holds up his shovel, which has DELETE painted on the back, and smiles at them as they make their way toward Matt Hardy's house and see him holding his son inside. A spider sways on its web as they stare in the window and sing "Hush Little Baby" at King Maxel. Matt tells Decay that he knew they'd come, and he leads them out to the battlefield, where Brother Nero and Reby are waiting with fireworks launchers, which they unload at Decay as they run for their lives. They take a break so Matt can send Reby back to the castle to take care of King Maxel, then they continue firing on Decay, who are hiding behind Skarsgard. Abyss tells Steve and Rosemary to go and get to the house, and continues holding the Dilapidated Boat until Brother Nero runs up and dropkicks it on Abyss, sending him into the depths of the lake beyond.

Senor Benjamin tells Brother Nero that he has to get the boat for Mr. Hardy, who we then see tracking Decay through the woods. Senor Benjamin drags the boat back onto shore, and he's texting Mr. Hardy when all of a sudden...JOSEPH PARK COMES OUT OF THE LAKE! He says he loved Benjamin in the Final Deletion, then asks if he's seen his brother Chris. Benjamin confirms that he has, and Joseph Park goes for a big hug, but Benjamin zaps him with a taser, laughs maniacally, and carries Joseph Park away with a small bulldozer.

Meanwhile, Crazzy Steve attacks Brother Nero and tries to throw him in the fire by the pool but Nero fights him off and gives him a gourdbuster into the pool. They continue fighting underwater as Matt tracks Rosemary through the woods, and then Senor Benjamin dumps Abyss into his grave and laughs maniacally again. Meanwhile, Brother Nero chokes Steve out in the pool, climbs out, and takes a deep breath...and doesn't see Steve coming from behind to grab Brother Nero and drag him back into the pool. Senor Benjamin is just getting ready to bury Joseph Park when Abyss pops out of the grave, goozles him, and chokes him unconscious.

Back at the pool, Brother Nero chokes Steve out with an inflatable pool toy and then hobbles away. Steve climbs out of the pool, his face paint magically regenerates, and he is off in pursuit of Brother Nero. Back in the woods, Matt Hardy has finally cornered Rosemary, but Abyss comes out of nowhere and comes after Matt with Janice. Abyss tells Rosemary to go get HER baby and goes back after Matt. Matt says Janice is nothing but vermin, and Abyss swings Janice at Matt, but Brother Nero shoves him out of the way and takes the full brunt of Janice to the gut. Matt says that was so...unselfish, but then realizes he's cornered by both members of Decay.

Things are looking their bleakest, but suddenly, Vanguard-1 shows up, and he's arming the rockets. Vanguard-1 fires on Decay, and the flames light up a Hardy symbol on the lawn which has magical powers that keep Abyss and Steve trapped like a force field! Back in the Hardy castle, Reby is laid out on the floor and Rosemary is escaping with King Maxel, but then Vanguard-1 shows up and says, and I quote, "Not so fast! Put the boy down. Witch!" Rosemary gladly puts him down, Vanguard-1 tells Maxel to run, and then Rosemary spews mist at Vanguard-1 and...oh no, she knocks him...OFFLINE!

Rosemary goes back to looking for Maxel, but finds herself face to face with Matt Hardy, who says she has crossed a line she can never return from. Rosemary laughs and spews her mist at Matt, but Matt INHALES THE INCOMING MIST and spews it right back at Rosemary, causing her to scream in agony and run for her life. King Maxel and Reby come running up to Matt, and they share a big family hug as Brother Nero and Senor Benjamin...well, it looks like they died out on the battlefield. Decay hops in their BMW and speed away as the show draws to a close.

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